Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop,"--she said on the afternoon of the third day, as
she came into the hotel room where the mother of the millionaire was now
equal to her usual vigorous exercise in her old-gold-plush stationary
rocker. "Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you may well be grateful as Jathrop has got
money enough for us to be living here, for the living of the community
is getting to be no living a _tall_."
Gran'ma Mullins, still in bed, turned herself about and manifested a
vivid interest, "Well, Susan," she said, "it's three days now; how long
is this going to keep up?"
"It can't keep up very much longer, or we'll have a new French
Revolution, that's what we'll have," said Susan. "Why, the community is
getting where it won't stand even being said good morning to pleasantly.
The children is running all over, pulling each other's hair, and Deacon
White says he's going to buy a pistol. Things is come to a pretty pass
when Deacon White wants to buy a pistol, for he's just as afraid of one
end as the other. But it's a straw as shows which way the cyclone blew
his house."
"But isn't something--?"
"Something has got to be done. The boys stretched a string across the
door of the insurance men's room this morning, and they fell in a heap
when they started out; and some one as nobody can locate poured a
pitcher of ice water through the ventilator as is over their bed. Seeing
that public feeling is on the rise, they sent right after breakfast for
the appraisers, and they're going to begin appraising and un-sealing
to-morrow morning. They've entirely give up the idea of waiting for
Mrs. Macy. The town just won't stand for any more hanging around waiting
for nothing. I never see us so before. Every one is so upset and divided
in their feelings that some think we'd ought to horsewhip the insurance
men, and some think we'd ought to hold a burial service for Mrs. Macy."
"I wouldn't see any good in holding a service for Mrs. Macy," said
Gran'ma Mullins. "She wouldn't have been buried here if she was dead;
she was always planning to go to Meadville when she was dead."
"Yes," said Susan, "I know. Because Mrs. Lupey's got that nice lot with
that nice mausoleum as she bought from the Pennybackers when they got
rich and moved even their great-grandfather to the city."
"I remember the Pennybackers," said Gran'ma Mullins. "Old man
Pennybacker used to drive a cart for rags. It was a great day for the
Pennybackers when Joe went into the pawnbroker business."
"Yes," said Susan, "it's wonderful how rich men manage to get on when
they're young. Seems as if there's just no way to crowd a millionaire
out of business or kill him off. I'm always reading what they went
through in the papers, but it never helped none. A millionaire is a
thing as when it's going to be is going to be, and you've just got to
let 'em do it once they get started."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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