Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"It was a nice mausoleum," said Gran'ma Mullins. "Mrs. Macy has told me
about it a hundred times. It's so big, Mrs. Lupey says, she can live up
to her hospitable nature at last, for there's room for all and to spare.
Mrs. Macy was the first person she asked. Mrs. Macy thought that was
very kind of just a cousin. There's only Mrs. Kitts there, now, and Mrs.
Lupey's aunt, Mrs. Cogetts."
"Mrs. Macy didn't know she had a aunt," said Susan. "Mrs. Cogetts came
way from Jacoma just on account of the mausoleum. That's a long ways to
come just to save paying for a lot where you are, seems to me; but some
natures'll go to any lengths to save money."
"I wonder where Mrs. Macy is now," said Gran'ma Mullins, with a sigh.
"Nobody knows. A good many is decided that it's surely a clear case of
Elijah, only nobody pretends to believe in the Bible so much as to think
that she can go up and stay there. Mrs. Macy'd have to come down, and
the higher she went the more heaven help her when she does come down.
Mrs. Macy was very solid, as we all know who've heard her sit down or
seen her get up, and I can't see no happy ending ahead, even though we
all wish her well. The insurance men is very blue over her not coming
back, for they expected to prove a tornado sure; but even insurance men
can't have the whole world run to suit them these days. Anyhow, my view
is as it's no use worrying. Spilt milk's a poor thing to cook with. If
you're in the fire, you ain't in the frying-pan. The real sufferers is
this community, as is all locked out of their houses. The Browns is
living in the cellar to the cowshed, with two lengths of sidewalk laid
over them. Mrs. Brown says she feels like a Pilgrim Father, and she
sees why they got killed off so fast by the Indians,--it was so much
easier to be scalped than to do your hair. Mr. and Mrs. Craig takes
turns at one hammock all night long. Mrs. Craig says they change
regular, for whoever turns over spills out, and the other one is sitting
looking at the moon and waiting all ready to get in."
"I declare, Susan," said Gran'ma Mullins warmly, "I think it's most
shocking. I won't say outrageous, but I will say shocking."
"But what are you going to do about it?" said Susan. "That's the rub in
this country. There's plenty as is shocking, but here we sit at the
mercy of any cyclone or Congress as comes along. Here we was, peaceful,
happy, and loving, and a cyclone swishes through. Down comes half a
dozen men from the city and seals up everything in town. I tell you you
ought to have heard me when they was sealing up your house and Mrs.
Macy's. I give it to 'em, and I didn't mince matters none. I spoke my
whole mind, and it was a great satisfaction, but they went right on and
sealed up the houses."
"Oh, Susan," began Mrs. Lathrop, "how are--?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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