Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
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Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"In the first place," said Susan, "he asked me if I 'd mind his smokin'
his pipe, 'n' I told him I most certainly would, so that ended that
subjeck right up square at the beginnin'. Then he said he 'd been
married nigh on to forty years 'n' I told him to look out for the
cistern 'n' he hitched along a piece 'n' begin again. 'N' then he seemed
set a-goin' for keeps.
"Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as he never had no family, but he says he was a
very handsome young fellow for all that. I looked pretty hard at him,
but he stuck to it 'n' I let it go. He went on to say as he growed up
anyhow 'n' drifted to Meadville when he was long about twenty-four, 'n'
went on to the Pearson farm. Oh, my, but he says that was a stony farm!
I tell you but he rubbed his chin with his hand a long while afore he
said all over again, 'but that _was_ a stony farm!' An' the
gophers!--Well, he says whatever the Recordin' Angel has got down he
bets he's skipped some o' them gophers. He says the hairs on your head
is a mere joy to reckon up, 'n' fallin' sparrows too, beside them
gophers. He says savin' a cent in the time o' Egypt 'n' seein' what you
'd have now if you 'd only done it, is nothin' to the way them gophers
on the Pearson farm was give to givin' in marriage. He says as it was a
very stony farm, 'n' in between every two stones was one hole 'n' half a
dozen gophers to a hole, in the _single_ season. He says ploughin' was
like churnin' with nothin' but stones 'n' gophers in the churn. He says
they was that tame they'd run up your legs 'n' up the horses' legs; he
said maybe I would n't believe it, 'n' I told him I certainly would n't,
so then he went on to another subjeck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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