Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
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Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it was certainly a sight worth seein'! The way that
Gran'ma Mullins was glued on! All I can say is as octopuses has got
their backs turned in comparison to the way that Hiram seemed to be all
wrapped up in her. It looked like wild horses, not to speak of Lucy
Dill, would n't never be able to get him loose enough to marry him. The
minister was scared; we was all scared. I never see a worse situation to
be in.
"They come along through the back parlor, Lucy lookin' back, Mr. Dill
white as a sheet, 'n' Hiram walkin' like a snow-plough as is n't sure
how long it can keep on makin' it. It seemed like a month as they was
under way before they finally got stopped in front o' the minister. 'N'
then come _the_ time! Hiram had to step beside Lucy 'n' take her hand
'n' he could n't! We all just gasped. There was Hiram tryin' to get
loose 'n' Mr. Dill tryin' to help him. Gran'ma Mullins's tears dripped
till you could hear 'em, but she hung on to Hiram like he 'd paid for
it. They worked like Trojan beavers, but as fast as they 'd get one side
of him uncovered she 'd take a fresh wind-round. I tell you, we all just
held our breath, 'n' I bet Lucy was sorry she persisted in havin' a
procession when she see the perspiration runnin' off her father 'n' poor
Hiram.
"Finally Polly got frightened 'n' begun to cry, 'n' at that the deacon
put his arm around her 'n' give her a hug, an' Gran'ma Mullins looked up
just in time to see the arm 'n' the hug. It seemed like it was the last
hay in the donkey, for she give a weak screech 'n' went right over on
Mr. Dill. She had such a grip on Hiram that if it had n't been for Lucy
he 'd have gone over, too, but Lucy just hung on herself that time, 'n'
Hiram was rescued without nothin' worse than his hair mussed 'n' one
sleeve a little tore. Mr. Sperrit 'n' Mr. Jilkins carried Gran'ma
Mullins into the dinin'-room, 'n' I said to just leave her fainted till
after we 'd got Hiram well 'n' truly married; so they did.
"I never see the minister rattle nothin' through like that
marriage-service. Every one was on whole papers of pins 'n' needles, 'n'
the minute it was over every one just felt like sittin' right straight
down.
"Mrs. Macy 'n' me went up 'n' watered Gran'ma Mullins till we brought
her to, 'n' when she learned as it was all done she picked up wonderful
'n' felt as hungry as any one, 'n' come downstairs 'n' kissed Lucy 'n'
caught a corner on Mrs. Dill just like she 'd never been no trouble to
no one from first to last. I never see such a sudden change in all my
life; it was like some miracle had come out all over her 'n' there was
n't no one there as was n't rejoiced to death.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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