Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"We all went out in the dinin'-room 'n' the sun shone in 'n' every one
laughed over nothin' a _tall_. Mrs. Sperrit pinned Hiram up from inside
so his tear did n't show, 'n' Lucy 'n' he set side by side 'n' looked
like no one was ever goin' to ever be married again. Polly 'n' the
deacon set opposite 'n' the minister 'n' his wife 'n' Mr. Dill 'n'
Gran'ma Mullins made up the table. The rest stood around, 'n' we was all
as lively as words can tell. The cake was one o' the handsomest as I
ever see, two pigeons peckin' a bell on top 'n' Hiram 'n' Lucy runnin'
around below in pink. There was a dime inside 'n' a ring, an' I got the
dime, 'n' they must have forgot to put in the ring for no one got it."
Susan paused and panted.
"It was--" commented Mrs. Lathrop, thoughtfully.
"Nice that I got the dime?--yes, I should say. There certainly was n't
no one there as needed it worse, 'n', although I 'd never be one to call
a dime a fortune, still it is a dime, 'n' no one can't deny it the
honor, no matter how they feel. But, Mrs. Lathrop, what you 'd ought to
have seen was Hiram 'n' Lucy ready to go off. I bet no one knows they
're brides--I bet no one knows _what_ they are,--you never saw the like
in all your worst dreams. Hiram wore spectacles 'n' carpet-slippers 'n'
that old umbrella as Mr. Shores keeps at the store to keep from bein'
stole, 'n' Lucy wore clothes she 'd found in trunks 'n' her hair in
curl-papers, 'n' her cold-cream gloves. They certainly was a sight, 'n'
Gran'ma Mullins laughed as hard as any one over them. Mr. Sperrit drove
'em to the train, 'n' Hiram says he 's goin' to spend two dollars a day
right along till he comes back; so I guess Lucy 'll have a good time for
once in her life. 'N' Gran'ma Mullins walked back with me 'n' not one
word o' Hiram did she speak. She was all Polly 'n' the deacon. She said
it wa'n't in reason as Polly could imagine him with hair, 'n' she said
she was thinkin' very seriously o' givin' her a piece o' his hair as she
's got, for a weddin' present. She said Polly 'd never know what he was
like the night he give her that hair. She said the moon was shinin' 'n'
the frogs were croakin', 'n' she kind o' choked; she says she can't
smell a marsh to this day without seein' the deacon givin' her that
piece of hair. I cheered her up all I could--I told her anyhow he could
n't give Polly a piece of his hair if he died for it. She smiled a weak
smile 'n' went on up to Mrs. Brown's. Mrs. Brown 's asked her to stay
with her a day or two. Mrs. Brown has her faults, but nobody can't deny
as she 's got a good heart,--in fact, sometimes I think Mrs. Brown's
good heart is about the worst fault she's got. I 've knowed it lead her
to do very foolish things time 'n' again--things as I thank my star I 'd
never think o' doin'--not in this world."
Mrs. Lathrop shifted her elbows a little; Susan withdrew at once from
the fence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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