Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, we saw,--'n' I will in truth remark as such a
sawin' we 'll never probably get a chance to do again! Mrs. Sweet says
they practised it over four times at the church, so they can't deny as
they meant it all, 'n' you might lay me crossways 'n' cut me into
chipped beef 'n' still I would declare as I would n't have the face to
own to havin' had any hand in plannin' any such weddin'.
"First come 'Liza Em'ly 'n' Rachel Rebecca hand in hand carryin'
daisies--of all things in the world to take to a weddin'--'n' then come
Brunhilde Susan, with a daisy-chain around her neck 'n' her belt stuck
full o' daisies 'n'--you can believe me or not, jus' as you please, Mrs.
Lathrop, 'n' still it won't help matters any--'n' a daisy stuck in every
button down her back, 'n' daisies tangled up in her hair, 'n' a bunch o'
daisies under one arm.
"Well, we was nigh to overcome by Brunhilde Susan, but we drawed some
fresh breath 'n' kept on lookin', 'n' next come Polly 'n' Mr. Allen. I
will say for Mr. Allen as he seemed to feel the ridiculousness of it
all, for a redder man I never see, nor one as looked more uncomfortable.
He was daisied, too--had three in his buttonhole;--but what took us all
was the way him 'n' Polly walked. I bet no people gettin' married ever
zigzagged like that before, 'n' Mrs. Sweet says they practised it by
countin' two 'n' then swingin' out to one side, 'n' then countin' two
'n' swingin' out to the other--she watched 'em out of her attic window
down through the broke blind to the church. Well, all I can say is, that
to my order o' thinkin' countin' 'n' swingin' is a pretty frame o' mind
to get a husband in, but so it was, 'n' we was all starin' our eyes off
to beat the band when the little door opened 'n', to crown everythin'
else, out come the deacon 'n Mr. Jilkins, each with a daisy 'n' a silk
hat, 'n' I will remark, Mrs. Lathrop, as new-born kittens is blood-red
murderers compared to how innocent that hat o' Mr. Jilkins looked. Any
one could see as it was n't new, but he was n't new either as far as
that goes, 'n' that was what struck me in particular about the whole
thing--nothin' 'n' nobody was n't any different only for Polly's
foolishness 'n' the daisies.
"Well, they sorted out 'n' begun to get married, 'n' us all sittin'
lookin' on 'n' no more guessin' what was comin' next than a ant looks
for a mornin' paper. The minister was gettin' most through 'n' the
deacon was gettin' out the ring, 'n' we was lookin' to get up 'n' out
pretty quick, when--my heavens alive, Mrs. Lathrop, I never will forget
that minute--when Mr. Jilkins--poor man, he's sufferin' enough for it,
Lord knows!--when Mr. Jilkins dropped his hat!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account