Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' AffairsWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Neighbors' Affairs
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"She went on to say as the biggest thing Rufus ever done long about then
was to down their minister in a open conversation one night callin' at
Deacon Grummel's. She told all about it, 'n' seems as there was some
talk afterwards about gettin' up a subscription to send him to college,
only it never come to nothin' 'cause no one wanted to subscribe. Seems
the minister was Luther Law, him as moved to Chicago afterwards 'n' got
burnt up or out--I forget which--in the fire. Seems he was to Deacon
Grummel's one night, 'n' him 'n' Rufus got to discussin' what we all
come from. Mrs. Macy says Mrs. Grummel said she never hear the like. She
'n' her husband was jus' all of a tremble. She said afterwards that if
it 'd of been any other minister than Luther Law, Rufus _would_ have had
him sure. She said it was just like a lecture hall to hear, upon her
honor. The minister begun by startin' out for our all comin' from Adam
'n' Eve, but Rufus come out flat for our bein' from monkeys. Well, Mrs.
Grummel said she 'n' her husband could n't do no more than feel their
hearts beat at _that_. Rufus jus' argued 'n' kep' on arguin' till he
made the minister admit as there was n't nothin' absolute agin' monkeys,
'n' then--if that young man did n't go him one better 'n' say as he
believed in tadpoles himself. Luther Law was flat agin' tadpoles, but
Rufus never let up till he got him to admit that if the Lord could make
a man out of a monkey He could make him out of a tadpole, too. 'N'
_then_, when he'd got him so far, what _do_ you think, Mrs.
Lathrop,--what do you think!--Mrs. Macy said as Mrs. Kitts said as Mrs.
Grummel said if that young man did n't look right square into Luther's
face 'n' say as to _his_ order o' thinkin' it wasn't what we'd come from
as mattered so much as what we'd develop into _next_. 'That's what I
want to know,' he said to Luther Law, runnin' his hand into himself in
that way as was so fashionable along 'bout then, 'that's what _I_ want
to know, 'n' I can't find no one as has a addykit answer for me.'
"Well, Mrs. Macy said Mrs. Kitts said as up to her deathbed day Mrs.
Grummel _always_ said as that was _the_ minute o' her life. She said
facin' cannon would n't be nothin' to the way she 'n' the deacon felt
over seein' the minister asked a thing like that right on top o' their
own tea! But, lor, you never could stick Luther Law. A minister would
n't be able to be able to be a minister if little things like questions
you can't answer could run him aground. He jus' waited a minute 'n' then
he looked slow 'n' sad, an' lifted up his hand _so_, 'n' pointed _so_,
an' said, 'Young man, how can you ask such a question, with the starry
heaven right on top of your head?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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