Sue's prayers had been fervent, but a trifle disjointed, covering all
subjects from Jack and Fardie, to Grandma in heaven and Aunt Louisa at
the farm, with special references to El-der-ess Abby and the Shaker
cows, and petitions that the next day be fair so that she could see them
milked. Excitement at her strange, unaccustomed surroundings had put the
child's mind in a very whirl, and she had astonished her mother with a
very new and disturbing version of the Lord's prayer, ending: "God give
us our debts and help us to forget our debtors and theirs shall be the
glory, Amen." Now she lay quietly on the wall side of the clean, narrow
bed, while her mother listened to hear the regular breathing that would
mean that she was off for the land of dreams. The child's sleep would
leave the mother free to slip out of bed and look at the stars; free to
pray and long and wonder and suffer and repent,--not wholly, but in
part, for she was really at peace in all but the innermost citadel of
her conscience. She had left her husband, and for the moment, at all
events, she was fiercely glad; but she had left her boy, and Jack was
only ten. Jack was not the helpless, clinging sort; he was a little
piece of his father, and his favorite. Aunt Louisa would surely take
him, and Jack would scarcely feel the difference, for he had never shown
any special affection for anybody. Still he was her child, nobody could
possibly get around that fact, and it was a stumbling-block in the way
of forgetfulness or ease of mind. Oh, but for that, what unspeakable
content she could feel in this quiet haven, this self-respecting
solitude! To have her thoughts, her emotions, her words, her _self_, to
herself once more, as she had had them before she was married at
seventeen. To go to sleep in peace, without listening for a step she had
once heard with gladness, but that now sometimes stumbled unsteadily on
the stair; or to dream as happy women dreamed, without being roused by
the voice of the present John, a voice so different from that of the
past John that it made the heart ache to listen to it.
Sue's voice broke the stillness: "How long are we going to stay here,
Mardie?"
"I don't know, Sue; I think perhaps as long as they'll let us."
"Will Fardie come and see us?"
"I don't expect him."
"Who'll take care of Jack, Mardie?"
"Your Aunt Louisa."
"She'll scold him awfully, but he never cries; he just says, 'Pooh! what
do I care?' Oh, I forgot to pray for that very nicest Shaker gentleman
that said he'd let me help him feed the calves! Hadn't I better get out
of bed and do it? I'd 'specially like to."
"Very well, Sue; and then go to sleep."
Safely in bed again, there was a long pause, and then the eager little
voice began, "Who'll take care of Fardie now?"
"He's a big man; he doesn't need anybody."
"What if he's sick?"
"We must go back to him, I suppose."
"To-morrow's Sunday; what if he needs us to-morrow, Mardie?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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