Sweethearts at HomeCrockett, S. R. (Samuel Rutherford)
General
Sweethearts at Home
Crockett, S. R. (Samuel Rutherford)
Girls -- Diaries
Just now--"Watch him, Sis!" he is on the look-out for wasp nests. Edam
is the most wasp-free parish for miles, all owing to him. He marks them
down in the daytime, and then in the evening he will come with his
utensils and a dark lantern to make an end. With hung nests under eaves,
or attached to branches of trees, he deals by drenching them with
petroleum and setting a match to them. Sometimes he will drop a big one
into a pail of water and stand ready to clap on the lid. The swarming
deep-sunk nests in dry banks he attacks more warily. He brings a little
apparatus for heating pitch, and pours it, liquid and sinuous, into the
hole till the startled hum sinks into silence. Since an accident which
happened last year (owing to the wasp-nest operated upon having a
back-door) Butcher Donnan has always taken a quick-sighted boy or two to
spy out the land. I suspect our Sir Toady has acted as scout pretty
often. Do you remember when he came home all bulgy about the eyes and
with one of his ears swelled up double? _He_ said he thought he must
have taken cold, and I saw from the twinkle in Fuz's eye that he thought
he had been fighting. But _I_ took my magnifying glass and got out two
of the wasp-stings. Sir Toady had been doing "scout" for Butcher Donnan.
He had not "scouted" quite quick enough--that was all.
Butcher Donnan, born Irish, had spent some time in America. So he
started politics here, and as he hoists the green flag with a harp, and
hauls down the Union Jack on the occasion of every Irish debate in
Parliament, you may be sure that he gets his windows broken.
He does not object. He likes putting the panes in again himself, because
it is something for him to do. Sometimes he catches some local Unionist
patriot and (what he calls) "lathers" him! Afterwards he supports him
liberally during a prolonged convalescence. It is counted rather a good
thing to be loyal and get battered by that furious Irish Revolutionary,
Butcher Donnan. He has illuminations, too, and has stood for the School
Board and County Council on purely Fenian lines. He said nothing,
however, when young Nipper was elected instead of him, on that most
popular of all municipal tickets which consists in "keeping down the
rates."
In despair of other employment Butcher Donnan has married a second time,
and his wife is a buxom woman, overcome with the glory of living in a
villa. But she makes regular first-class custards, I tell you. And for
toffee and shortcake there is not the like of her in the whole village
of Edam. If it were not for Butcher Donnan's (senior's) dignity, he
might be a happy man. For Mrs. Donnan could conduct the finest
confectioner's shop that ever was, and if the Butcher could be kept
from cutting up a mince-pie with a cleaver, and sharpening a jelly-spoon
on a "steel," he might be the best of salesmen and the happiest of men.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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