_Aur._ How now? stay, who’s this? _Swash._ I could not find the way out of the Orchard, If I should ha’ beene hang’d, but fell into these Old Women s mouthes: but the best is, They had no teeth to bite me, but my Grandame heere Scratches most deuillishly. _Atl._ Here’s a Whelpe of the same Litter too. Come hither Sirrah, doe you know this man? _Swash._ Yes, forsooth, I know him, He was my Master once, want of a better. _Lor._ Then you were one of his Confederates, Sir. _Swash._ I his Confederate? I defye him, He knowes I alwayes gaue him good counsell, If he had had the grace to follow it: Here he is himselfe, let him deny’t if he can. _Mis._ Oh, oh, oh. _Swash._ Did not I euer say, Master, take heed, Wrong not kind Gentlewomen, Honest louing women? Many a time Haue I beene beaten by him blacke and blue, For looking on a woman, is’t not true? _Mis._ Oh, oh. _Swash._ You seehis bringing vp, To make a mouth at all this companie. _Aur._ This is an honest fellow; he shall escape. Sirrah, thou lou’st a woman? _Swash._ I, with all my heart. _Scold._ He lookes as if he did. _Atl._ Well, stand aside, weele imploy you anon: Forbeare your tortors yet, something is hid, That we must haue reueal’d, and he himselfe Shall be his owne accuser: you all know, He hath arraign’d vs for inconstancie: But now weele arraigne him, and iudge him too, This is womans counsell: Madame, we make you Ladie Chiefe Iustice of this Female Court, Mistris Recorder, I. _Loretta_, you, Sit for the Notarie: _Crier_, she: The rest shall beare inferior Offices, As Keepers, Seriants, Executioners. _Swash._ Ide rather be a Hangman then a Seriant: Yet there’s no great difference, if one will not, T’other must. _Atl._ Mother, goe you and call a Iurie full, Of which y’are the fore-woman. _1. Old W._ Thanke you forsooth, Ile fetch one presently: ’Tis fit he should be scratcht, and please your Grace: Sure, he is no man. _Atl._ We want a Barre. O, these two foyles shall serue: One stucke i’ the Earth, and crosse it from this Tree. Now take your places, bring him to the Barre, Sirrah, vngag him. _Swash._ Let him be gag’d still: Then you are sure what e’r you say to him, He cannot contradict you. _Atl._ Pull it out. _Swash._ Doe not bite y’are best. _Mis._ Oh, that I were a Serpent for your sakes, Bearing a thousand stings. _Aur._ Worse then thou art, Thou canst not wish to be, abortiue wretch. Bring him to the Barre. _Swash._ You’ld not be rul’d by me: I told you o’this, And now you see what followes, Hanging’s the least, what-cu’r followes that. _Aur._ Clarke of the Peace, Reade the Indictment. _Scold._ Silence in the Court. _Swash._ Silence? & none but women? That were strange! _Lor._ _Misogynos_, hold vp thy hand. _Swash._ His name is _Swetnam_, not _Misogynos_. That’s but a borrowed name.