Sword and Gown: A NovelLawrence, George A. (George Alfred)
General
Sword and Gown: A Novel
Lawrence, George A. (George Alfred)
Fiction
These two words seem to me the most of any that are written or spoken.
They strike the key-note of so many human agonies, that they might form
a motto, apter than Dante's, for the gates of hell. Very few may hear
them without a melancholy thrill; well--if they do not bring a bitter
pang. Like those awful conjurations that blanched in utterance the lips
of the boldest magi, they have a fearful power to wake the dead. Lo!
they are scarcely syllabled when there is a stir in the grave-yard
where sad or guilty memories lie buried; the air is alive with phantoms;
the watcher may close his eyes if he will: not the less is he sensible
of the presence of those pale ghosts that come trooping to their
vengeance. Many, many hours must pass before the spell is learned that
will send them back to their tombs again.
Not long ago I heard a story that bears upon this. The man of whom it
was told lost his love after he had fairly wooed and won her. It matters
not what suspicion, or misconception, or treachery parted them; but
parted they were for eight miserable years. Then the lady repented or
relented, and came to her lover to make her confession. When she had
done speaking, she looked up into his face: she saw no light of gladness
or welcome there--only a deepening and darkening of the weary look of
pain: the arms whose last tender clasp she had not forgotten yet, never
opened to draw her to his breast. He bent his head down upon his shaking
hands, and the heavy drops that are sometimes wrung from strong men in
their agony began to trickle through his fingers. In old days he could
never bear to see her sad for a moment; now, he sat as though he heard
her not, while she lay at his feet, wailing to be forgiven. When he
could perfectly control his voice he said,
"More than once, in my dreams, I have seen you so, and I have heard you
say what you have said to-day. I answered then as I answer now--I never
can forgive you. I do not know that you would not regain your old
ascendency; I believe you are as dangerous, and I as weak, as ever. But
I do know that, the more fascinating I found you, the harder it would be
to bear. Thinking of what I had missed through that accursed time of
famine would drive me mad soon. I have got used to my present burden: I
won't give you the chance of making it heavier. Those tears of mine were
selfish as well as childish; they were given to the happiness and hope
that you killed eight years ago. Stay--we parted with a show of kindness
then; we will not part in anger now."
He laid his lips on her forehead as he raised her up--a grave, cold,
passionless kiss, such as is pressed on the brow of a dear friend lying
in his shroud. They never met alone again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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