Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
How much she knows—much more than I dream, perhaps! I wonder about it,
but I never ask her. Both Frank and I have tried to talk to her, but we
cannot; it is cowardly, pitiful, perhaps—but we cannot! She used to ask
questions in the beginning, but she must have felt our pain, for she
asks no more; she simply haunts our home, the incarnation of the
tragedy. So much of her mother she has—the wonderful red-brown eyes, the
golden hair, the mobile, delicate features. But the sparkle of the eyes
and the glow in the cheeks, the gaiety, the rapture—where are they? When
I think of this, I clutch my hands in a sort of spasm, and go to my work
again.
Or perhaps I go into Frank’s den and see him sitting there, with his
haggard, brooding face, his hair that turned gray in one week. He never
asks the question, but I see it in his eyes: “How much have you done
to-day?” A cruel taskmaster is that face of Frank’s! He is haunted by
the thought that I may not live to finish the story.
The hardest thing of all will be to make you see Sylvia as she was in
that wild, wonderful youth of hers, when she was the belle of her state,
when the suitors crowded about her like moths about a candle-flame. How
shall one who is old and full of bitter memories bring back the magic
spirit of youth, the glamor and the glow of it, the terrifying
blindness, the torrent-like rush, the sheer, quivering ecstasy of it?
What words shall I choose to bring before you the joyfulness of Sylvia?
When I first met her she was twenty-six, and had known the kind of
sorrow that eats into a woman’s soul as acid might eat into her eyes;
and yet you would think she had never been touched by pain—she moved
through life, serene, unflinching, a lamp of cheerfulness to every soul
who knew her. I met her and proceeded to fall in love with her like the
veriest schoolgirl; I would go away and think of her, and clasp my hands
together in delight. There was one word that kept coming to me; I would
repeat it over and over again—“Happy! Happy! Happy!” She was the
happiest soul that I have ever known upon the earth; a veritable
fountain of joy.
I say that much; and then I hasten to correct it. It seems to be easy
for some people to smile. There comes to me another word that I used to
find myself repeating about Sylvia. She was wise! She was wise! She was
wise with a strange, uncanny wisdom, the wisdom of ages upon ages of
womanhood—women who have been mothers and counselors and homekeepers,
but above all, women who have been managers of men! Oh, what a manager
of men was Sylvia! For the most part, she told me, she managed them for
their own good; but now and then the irresistible imp of mischievousness
broke loose in her, and then she managed them any way at all, so long as
she managed them!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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