“It's very extremely ugly!” Bruno said, without any hesitation at all.
“All extremes are bad,” the Professor said, very gravely. “For instance,
Sobriety is a very good thing, when practised in moderation: but even
Sobriety, when carried to an extreme, has its disadvantages.”
“What are its disadvantages?” was the question that rose in my
mind--and, as usual, Bruno asked it for me. “What are its lizard
bandages?'
“Well, this is one of them,” said the Professor. “When a man's tipsy
(that's one extreme, you know), he sees one thing as two. But, when he's
extremely sober (that's the other extreme), he sees two things as one.
It's equally inconvenient, whichever happens.
“What does 'illconvenient' mean?” Bruno whispered to Sylvie.
“The difference between 'convenient' and 'inconvenient' is best
explained by an example,” said the Other Professor, who had overheard
the question. “If you'll just think over any Poem that contains the two
words--such as--”
The Professor put his hands over his ears, with a look of dismay. “If
you once let him begin a Poem,” he said to Sylvie, “he'll never leave
off again! He never does!”
“Did he ever begin a Poem and not leave off again?” Sylvie enquired.
“Three times,” said the Professor.
Bruno raised himself on tiptoe, till his lips were on a level with
Sylvie's ear. “What became of them three Poems?” he whispered. “Is he
saying them all, now?”
“Hush!” said Sylvie. “The Other Professor is speaking!”
“I'll say it very quick,” murmured the Other Professor, with downcast
eyes, and melancholy voice, which contrasted oddly with his face, as
he had forgotten to leave off smiling. (“At least it wasn't exactly a
smile,”) as Sylvie said afterwards: “it looked as if his mouth was made
that shape.”
“Go on then,” said the Professor. “What must be must be.”
“Remember that!” Sylvie whispered to Bruno, “It's a very good rule for
whenever you hurt yourself.”
“And it's a very good rule for whenever I make a noise,” said the saucy
little fellow. “So you remember it too, Miss!”
“Whatever do you mean?” said Sylvie, trying to frown, a thing she never
managed particularly well.
“Oftens and oftens,” said Bruno, “haven't oo told me 'There mustn't
be so much noise, Bruno!' when I've tolded oo 'There must!' Why, there
isn't no rules at all about 'There mustn't'! But oo never believes me!”
“As if any one could believe you, you wicked wicked boy!” said Sylvie.
The words were severe enough, but I am of opinion that, when you are
really anxious to impress a criminal with a sense of his guilt, you
ought not to pronounce the sentence with your lips quite close to his
cheek--since a kiss at the end of it, however accidental, weakens the
effect terribly.
CHAPTER 11. PETER AND PAUL.
“As I was saying,” the other Professor resumed, “if you'll just think
over any Poem, that contains the words--such as,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account