“She’s with the Warden, I believe, y’reince!” the Chancellor replied
with a low bow. There was, no doubt, a certain amount of absurdity in
applying this title (which, as of course you see without my telling you,
was nothing but ‘your Royal Highness’ condensed into one syllable) to a
small creature whose father was merely the Warden of Outland: still,
large excuse must be made for a man who had passed several years at the
Court of Fairyland, and had there acquired the almost impossible art of
pronouncing five syllables as one.
But the bow was lost upon Bruno, who had run out of the room, even while
the great feat of The Unpronounceable Monosyllable was being
triumphantly performed.
Just then, a single voice in the distance was understood to shout “A
speech from the Chancellor!” “Certainly, my friends!” the Chancellor
replied with extraordinary promptitude. “You shall have a speech!” Here
one of the waiters, who had been for some minutes busy making a
queer-looking mixture of egg and sherry, respectfully presented it on a
large silver salver. The Chancellor took it haughtily, drank it off
thoughtfully, smiled benevolently on the happy waiter as he set down the
empty glass, and began. To the best of my recollection this is what he
said.
“Ahem! Ahem! Ahem! Fellow-sufferers, or rather suffering fellows——”
(“Don’t call ’em names!” muttered the man under the window. “I didn’t
say _felons_!” the Chancellor explained.) “You may be sure that I always
sympa——” (“’Ear, ’ear!” shouted the crowd, so loudly as quite to drown
the orator’s thin squeaky voice) “—that I always sympa——” he repeated.
(“Don’t simper quite so much!” said the man under the window. “It makes
yer look a hidiot!” And, all this time, “’Ear, ’ear!” went rumbling
round the market-place, like a peal of thunder.) “That I always
_sympathise_!” yelled the Chancellor, the first moment there was
silence. “But your _true_ friend is the _Sub-Warden_! Day and night he
is brooding on your wrongs—I should say your _rights_—that is to say
your _wrongs_—no, I mean your _rights_——” (“Don’t talk no more!” growled
the man under the window. “You’re making a mess of it!”) At this moment
the Sub-Warden entered the saloon. He was a thin man, with a mean and
crafty face, and a greenish-yellow complexion; and he crossed the room
very slowly, looking suspiciously about him as if he thought there might
be a savage dog hidden somewhere. “Bravo!” he cried, patting the
Chancellor on the back. “You did that speech very well indeed. Why,
you’re a born orator, man!”
“Oh, that’s nothing!” the Chancellor replied, modestly, with downcast
eyes. “Most orators are _born_, you know.”
The Sub-Warden thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “Why, so they are!” he
admitted. “I never considered it in that light. Still, you did it very
well. A word in your ear!”
The rest of their conversation was all in whispers: so, as I could hear
no more, I thought I would go and find Bruno.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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