French fiction -- Translations into English; Unrequited love -- Fiction
the audience as well, which takes our measure when we act the part of
hero. I felt myself as much an object of hatred to the men as of
admiration to the women when I thus played the part of victorious lover,
because it was no indifferent actress, taught to listlessly drone those
immortal verses, that I was defending, but a true Greek maiden, a pearl
of grace, purity and love, worthy, indeed, to be rescued by all human
efforts from the hands of the jealous gods. Not Iphigenia alone, she was
Junia, Berenice, all the heroines rendered illustrious by the fair blue
eyes of Mlle. de Champmeslé, or the charming graces of the noble maidens
of Saint Cyr. Poor Aurélie! My comrade and my sister, wilt thou never
regret those hours of triumph and rapture? Didst thou not love me for an
instant, cold star, when I fought and wept and suffered for thee? The
audience questioned nightly: "Who, pray, is this actress, so far beyond
all that we have ever applauded? Are we not mistaken? Is she really as
young, as dazzling, and as pure as she seems?" The young women envied,
criticised or admired sadly. As for me, I needed to see her constantly,
so as not to feel overpowered by her beauty and to be able to meet her
eyes whenever the exigencies of the plot demanded....
This is why Achilles was my triumph, although I was often embarrassed in
other parts. What a pity that I could not change the situations to suit
me, and sacrifice even the thoughts of genius to my love and respect!
The character of a timid and captive lover like Britannicus or Bajazet,
did not please me. The purple of the young Caesar attracted me more; but
what a misfortune to declaim in conclusion only cold and perfidious
speeches! What! Was this young Nero, the idol of Rome, the handsome
athlete, the dancer, the poet whose only wish was to please the
populace? Is this what history and the conceptions of our poets have
left of him? Ah! give me his fury to interpret; his power I would fear
to accept. Nero! I have comprehended thee, not alas! according to
Racine, but according to my own heart, torn with agony whenever I have
ventured to impersonate thee! Yes, thou wast a god, thou who wouldst
have burned Rome. Thou wast right, perhaps, since Rome had insulted
thee!...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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