"A number of you have already sensed the change," he said. "I first started entering into these higher states--which I call basement samadhi--during deep meditation. Recently, though, I have been slipping in and out of them spontaneously: while walking at the beach, for instance, or while eating at Howard Johnson's. Now I am finding that I can enter them at will." Atmananda repeatedly described his newfound abilities until the disciples, a number of whom had not eaten in nearly two weeks, appeared to accept the restructuring. After the meeting I sat on the toilet, contemplating what had passed through Atmananda's lips. "What is going on?" I wondered. "Who does he think he is?" I felt angry and confused. I had been taught that samadhi was a state of consciousness so exalted that precious few enlightened souls achieved it. But now I was dizzy and nauseous from hunger. I was having difficulty concentrating. I saw swirling dots before me whether I was meditating or not. I found myself realizing that Atmananda had studied meditation in past lives. I found myself realizing that he was an advanced disciple of the Guru. I found myself feeling bad that I had doubted so advanced a soul, so educated a man, and so close a friend. "The thing to remember," I told myself, recalling Atmananda's lessons on humility, "is that it's only *basement* samadhi." After the fast, Atmananda took me to an Orange Julius shop in a mall. We sat by a window, sipping the sweet, rich drinks. "What do you *see*?" he asked. I looked and saw our reflection superimposed on the image of the crowd. "The people," I said. "They don't seem real." "Yes," he agreed. "Theirs is a world of illusion." 9. Off The Map "Something heavy has been going down in the inner worlds," Atmananda announced at a Centre meeting in late December, 1980. "Can anyone *see* what it is?" "Is Guru coming to visit us soon?" asked one disciple. "No." "Is the earth's psychic energy field getting progressively worse?" tried another. "Yes, but that's not it. Anyone else?" "This is going to sound crazy," said Kara, a UCSD student who seemed entranced by her own melodious voice. "But has Guru fallen?" "Yes." No one stirred. "Why don't you elaborate, Kara?" said Atmananda. "I first felt it a few weeks ago," she said, glancing at the ceiling as if she were trying to recall something. "I was meditating on the Transcendental but didn't *see* much light, ya know, and well, I just thought it was me but it just kept happening, and like I love Guru and all but..." Months later, Kara would be hospitalized for a mental disorder. "You have truly *seen*," praised Atmananda.