The entry in my journal for the following day, April 4th, 1985, reads, "yea! got my spiritual name...AGNI...Fire...Breaker of Illusions...Vision...Third Eye...Now, everything is totally fresh & new...I feel good." I liked the name. It represented the spiritual progress I had made despite the difficulties of the past few years. As I caravanned across America in Rama's group, the new name boosted my confidence. It was springtime in New England. Rama rented a large house in Needham, Massachusetts, and held Centre meetings in a church in Boston. Many disciples followed his suggestion and moved to Concord, Lincoln, or Wellesley. I moved to Wayland. One day I bought a copy of Walden by Henry David Thoreau. My journal entry for June 15th, 1985, reads, "Economics chapter in Walden...didn't provide any answers, but caused me to ask questions which lead to a variety of possibilities..." One question I asked myself was: how can I pay off my debt? One solution I came up with was: commute to work by bicycle. The entry continues, "By driving to a free lot in Arlington, parking, and bicycling the remaining 7-8 miles...save $100/month; instill spirit back in me; get exercise & strength; pass Harvard & MIT daily for brain power; bike around Boston lunch time. meet girls at Faneuil Hall; be independent, mobile, self-reliant!" The following day I bought a used three-speed for forty-five dollars and put the plan into effect. Each weekday I parked in a free lot, pedaled several miles along the Charles River, and braved downtown traffic as I sped to work, which was located two blocks from the site of the Boston Tea Party. I began to think of myself not as Rama's disciple, but as a bicyclist. On June 29th, 1985, I wrote, "i am a bicyclist. that is my nature. swift. light. strong & sure. motion. speed. agility. pivotable. flexible. colorful. self-propelled. motivated. bad forces beware. i am back. and i'm riding high. that's me. Agni. free spirit. go, now. and do not look back." It felt good to be pursuing a dream of my own. But I sensed that Rama would equate my project with the Negative Forces, so I chose not to tell him about the daily commutes and my newfound esteem. Perhaps as a result of my new, street-wise sense of self, I grew increasingly critical of Rama. Another entry for June reads, "What really pisses me off is that Rama changes everything he says, contradicts himself, turns a situation around completely--so you never have a handle on him."