The following week, Rama invited me to a group LSD trip at his house. On July 7th, 1985, I wrote, "...may be a picnic [LSD trip] tomorrow at Rama's. my intent is: to change my view of reality completely, with particular attention given toward: *becoming someone who has a girlfriend, *becoming my own person, i.e., my happiness & well-being is not hinged upon the absence (parents) or presence (Rama)(girlfriend) of any person(s)...to regain my kinship with the earth...to renew my excitement in life, to regain my integrity, self-reliance and confidence..." The next day Rama distributed drug-soaked stamps to ten or so followers in his living room. He let us wander around the house. Hours later, he called us to the living room and began to talk. And talk. And talk. I tried to understand how his words were affecting us. I thought in terms of computers. I decided that he had rebooted us with LSD and now, as we were coming down, he was downloading his wordy operating system to our unformatted, receptive minds. "He's formatting us like floppy disks!" I thought. I was about to plug my ears with my fingers when suddenly I remembered that I had brought my journal. I retrieved it and sat back down. Rama was still talking. In the upper right hand corner of the page, where I typically included the date, I wrote, "**timeless". I was still high. Then I wrote, "...the basic Agni Operating System: boot: breath deeply 2x. Take your time. where is your stomache...who has control of it? NOTE: nothing else matters. who ever is letting or not letting you take deep breaths of air-->if this is someone other than me, eliminate them. you breathe. You take it ez. get good exercise. Learn ANYTHING at a pace healthy for you! So, 2 traps to avoid: 1) other people...who live my life (not me living my life); 2) people trying to help me, but i take it wrong (due to #1). whatever TRIP you're on, remember breathing. remember who you are...never look to others to patch...Agni...You must be strong...even now, i am drawing upon a very healthy basic energy that supports me. That so is good. But over the last 7 years, i have been always rushing to meet someone else's gap. No thanx...Everyone is the same. Some people think they are special. No..." Rama was talking about American Indians. "They weave people's attention," he said, "to help sell their products." I wrote, "always be moving ON YOUR OWN STEAM! accept NO substitutes. everything has power. some things are good, others not." Rama asked what I was doing. "I'm writing in my journal," I replied. "What have you written?" I read the last few sentences aloud. "Some things have more power than others," he editorialized. Then he began talking about me. He spoke about how, when I had lived with him, I made shakes in the blender with all kinds of "strange" ingredients. "Why did Agni make these shakes?" he asked the disciples. No one answered.