His strong dislike to be a silent guest; Subjects and words were now at his command - When disappointment frown'd on all he plann'd; For, hark!--he heard amazed, on every side, His church insulted and her priests belied; The laws reviled, the ruling power abused, The land derided, and its foes excused: - He heard and ponder'd--What, to men so vile, Should be his language?--For his threat'ning style They were too many;--if his speech were meek, They would despise such poor attempts to speak: At other times with every word at will, He now sat lost, perplex'd, astonish'd, still. Here were Socinians, Deists, and indeed All who, as foes to England's Church, agreed; But still with creeds unlike, and some without a creed: Here, too, fierce friends of liberty he saw, Who own'd no prince and who obey no law; There were reformers of each different sort, Foes to the laws, the priesthood, and the court; Some on their favourite plans alone intent, Some purely angry and malevolent: The rash were proud to blame their country's laws; The vain, to seem supporters of a cause; One call'd for change, that he would dread to see; Another sigh'd for Gallic liberty! And numbers joining with the forward crew, For no one reason--but that numbers do. "How," said the Justice, "can this trouble rise, This shame and pain, from creatures I despise?" And Conscience answer'd--"The prevailing cause Is thy delight in listening to applause; Here, thou art seated with a tribe, who spurn Thy favourite themes, and into laughter turn Thy fears and wishes: silent and obscure, Thyself, shalt thou the long harangue endure; And learn, by feeling, what it is to force On thy unwilling friends the long discourse: What though thy thoughts be just, and these, it seems, Are traitors' projects, idiots' empty schemes; Yet minds, like bodies, cramm'd, reject their food, Nor will be forced and tortured for their good!" At length, a sharp, shrewd, sallow man arose, And begg'd he briefly might his mind disclose; "It was his duty, in these worst of times, T'inform the govern'd of their rulers' crimes:" This pleasant subject to attend, they each Prepare to listen, and forbore to teach. Then voluble and fierce the wordy man Through a long chain of favourite horrors ran: - First of the Church, from whose enslaving power He was deliver'd, and he bless'd the hour; "Bishops and deans, and prebendaries all," He said, "were cattle fatt'ning in the stall; Slothful and pursy, insolent and mean, Were every bishop, prebendary, dean, And wealthy rector: curates, poorly paid, Were only dull;--he would not them upbraid." From priests he turn'd to canons, creeds, and prayers, Rubrics and rules, and all our Church affairs; Churches themselves, desk, pulpit, altar, all The Justice reverenced--and pronounced their fall. Then from religion Hammond turn'd his view To give our Rulers the correction due; Not one wise action had these triflers plann'd; There was, it seem'd, no wisdom in the land,