NO sooner he the silly husband spied, But feigning 'twas the wily wife he eyed, At once he cried,--ah, vilest of the sex! Are these thy tricks, so good a man to vex? Oh shame upon thee! thus to treat his love, As pure as snow, descending from above. I could not think thou hadst so base a heart, But clear it is, thou need'st a friendly part, And that I'll act: I asked this rendezvous With full intent to see if thou wert true; And, God be praised, without a loose design, To plunge in luxuries pronounced divine. Protect me Heav'n! poor sinner that I'm here! To guard thy honour I will persevere. My worthy master could I thus disgrace? Thou wanton baggage with unblushing face, Thee on the spot I'll instantly chastise, And then thy husband of the fact advise. THE fierce harangue o'er Square-toes pleasure spread, Who, mutt'ring 'tween his teeth, with fervour said: O gracious Lord! to thee my thanks are due-- To have a wife so chaste--a man so true! But presently he felt upon his back The falc'ner's cudgel vigorously thwack, Who soundly basted him as on he ran, To gain the house, with terror, pale and wan. THE squire had wished his trusty man, no doubt, Had not, at cudgelling, been quite so stout; But since he showed himself so true a friend, And with his actions could such prudence blend, The master fully pardoned what he knew, And quickly to his wife in bed he flew, When he related every thing that passed Were we, cried he, a hundred years to last, My lovely dear, we ne'er on earth could find A man so faithful, and so well inclined. I'd have him take within our town a wife, And you and I'll regard him during life. In that, replied the lady, we agree, And heartily thereto I pledged will be. THE HUSBAND-CONFESSOR WHEN Francis (named the first) o'er Frenchmen reign'd, In Italy young Arthur laurels gained, And oft such daring valour showed in fight, With ev'ry honour he was made a knight; The monarch placed the spur upon his heel, That all around his proper worth might feel. Then household deities at home he sought, Where--not at prayers his beauteous dame he caught: He'd left her, truly, quite dissolv'd in tears; But now the belle had bid adieu to fears; And oft was dancing joyously around, With all the company that could be found.