SAID he, what anxiously I wish to get, You've plenty stored, and never wanted yet; You surely know my meaning?--Yes, she cried; I'll turn it in my mind, and we'll decide How best to act. Away she quickly flew, And Blase informed, what Ninny had in view. Zounds! said the cobbler, we must see, my dear, To hook this little sum:--the way is clear; No risk I'm confident; for prithee run And tell him I've a journey just begun; That he may hither come and have his will; But 'ere he touch thy lips, demand the bill; He'll not refuse the boon I'm very sure; Meantime, myself I'll hide and all secure. The note obtained, cough loudly, strong, and clear; Twice let it be, that I may plainly hear; Then forth I'll sally from my lurking place, And, spite of folly's frowns, prevent disgrace. THE plot succeeded as the pair desired; The cobbler laughed, and ALL his scheme admired: A purse-proud cit thereon observed and swore; 'Twere better to have coughed when all was o'er; Then you, all three, would have enjoyed your wish, And been in future all as mute as fish. OH! sir, replied the cobbler's wife at ease, Do you suppose that use can hope to please, And like your ladies full of sense appear? (For two were seated with his wedded dear;) Perhaps my lady 'd act as you describe, But ev'ry one such prudence don't imbibe. THE PEASANT AND HIS ANGRY LORD ONCE on a time, as hist'ry's page relates, A lord, possessed of many large estates, Was angry with a poor and humble clod, Who tilled his grounds and feared his very nod. Th' offence (as often happens) was but small, But on him, vowed the peer, his rage should fall-- Said he, a halter, rascal, you deserve; You'll never from the gallows-turnpike swerve: Or, soon or late you swinging will be found Who, born for hanging, ever yet was drowned? Howe'er you'll smile to hear my lenient voice; Observe, three punishments await your choice; Take which you will.--The first is, you shall eat, Of strongest garlick, thirty heads complete; No drink you'll have between, nor sleep, nor rest; You know a breach of promise I detest. Or, on your shoulders further I propose, To give you, with a cudgel, thirty blows. Or, if more pleasing, that you truly pay, The sum of thirty pounds without delay.