BOTH husbands madly ran from cross to square, And with their foolish clamours rent the air; I'm saddled, hooted one; I'm girth'd, said this; The latter some perhaps will doubt, and hiss; Such things however should not be disbelieved For instance, recollect (what's well received), When Roland learned the pleasures and the charms; His rival, in the grot, had in his arms, With fist he gave his horse so hard a blow, It sunk at once to realms of poignant woe. Might he not, training, round the hapless beast, From weight of saddle have its back released, And putting it upon his own, have cried, I'm saddled, I'm girth'd, and much beside; (No matter this or that, since each is good,) Which Echo would repeat from hill to wood? You see that truth may be discovered here; That's not enough; its object should appear; And that I'll show as further we proceed; Your full attention I of course shall need. THE happy Damon clearly seems to me, As poor a thing as any we shall see; His confidence would soon have spoiled the whole, To leave a belle like this without control! Her simplicity I much admire:-- Confess herself to spouse, as if a friar! What silliness! imprudence is a word, Which here to use would truly be absurd. To my discourse two heads alone remain; The marriage vow you always should maintain; Its faith the pair should ever keep in view: The path of honour steadily pursue. If some mishap howe'er should chance to glide; And make you limp on one or t'other side, Endeavour, of the fault, to make the best, And keep the secret locked within your breast; Your own consideration never lose; Untruth 'tis pardonable then to use. No doubt my pages nice advice supply; Is't what I've followed?--No, you may rely! THE CONTRACT THE husband's dire mishap, and silly maid, In ev'ry age, have proved the fable's aid; The fertile subject never will be dry: 'Tis inexhaustible, you may rely. No man's exempt from evils such as these:-- Who thinks himself secure, but little sees. One laughs at sly intrigues who, ere 'tis long, May, in his turn, be sneered at by the throng: With such vicissitudes, to be cast down, Appears rank nonsense worthy Folly's crown. He, whose adventures I'm about to write, In his mischances,--found what gave delight.