you a hundred golden guineas to a tester[23] you don’t.” “Done,” says
the gauger; and done and done’s enough between two gentlemen. The gauger
was cast, and my master won the bet, and thought he’d won a hundred
guineas, but by the wording it was adjudged to be only a tester that was
his due by the exciseman. It was all one to him; he was as well pleased,
and I was glad to see him in such spirits again.
The gauger, bad luck to him! was the man that next proposed to my master
to try himself could he take at a draught the contents of the great
horn. “Sir Patrick’s horn!” said his honour; “hand it to me: I’ll hold
you your own bet over again I’ll swallow it.” “Done,” says the gauger;
“I’ll lay ye anything at all you do no such thing.” “A hundred guineas
to sixpence I do,” says he: “bring me the handkerchief.” I was loth,
knowing he meant the handkerchief with the gold in it, to bring it out
in such company, and his honour not very able to reckon it. “Bring me
the handkerchief, then, Thady,” says he, and stamps with his foot; so
with that I pulls it out of my great coat pocket, where I had put it
for safety. Oh, how it grieved me to see the guineas counting upon the
table, and they the last my master had! Says Sir Condy to me, “Your hand
is steadier than mine to-night, old Thady, and that’s a wonder; fill
you the horn for me.” And so, wishing his honour success, I did; but
I filled it, little thinking of what would befall him. He swallows it
down, and drops like one shot. We lifts him up, and he was speechless,
and quite black in the face. We put him to bed, and in a short time he
wakened, raving with a fever on his brain. He was shocking either to see
or hear. “Judy! Judy! have you no touch of feeling? won’t you stay to
help us nurse him?” says I to her, and she putting on her shawl to go
out of the house. “I’m frightened to see him,” says she, “and wouldn’t
nor couldn’t stay in it; and what use? he can’t last till the morning.”
With that she ran off. There was none but my shister and myself left
near him of all the many friends he had. The fever came and went, and
came and went, and lasted five days, and the sixth he was sensible for a
few minutes, and said to me, knowing me very well, “I’m in burning pain
all withinside of me, Thady.” I could not speak, but my shister asked
him would he have this thing or t’other to do him good? “No,” says he,
“nothing will do me good no more,” and he gave a terrible screech with
the torture he was in--then again a minute’s ease--“brought to this by
drink,” says he; “where are all the friends?--where’s Judy?--Gone, hey?
Ay, Sir Condy has been a fool all his days,” said he; and there was the
last word he spoke, and died. He had but a very poor funeral, after all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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