with him, and then to be most blessed. “It is all to me now as a dream, long passed, and never told; no, never, except to him who had a right to know it--my husband, and now to you, Helen. From my dream I was awakened by a rude shock--I saw, I thank Heaven I first, and I alone, saw that his heart was gone from me--that his heart had never been mine--that it was unworthy of me. No, I will not say that; I will not think so. Still I trust he had deceived himself, though not so much as he deceived me. I am willing to believe he did not know that what he professed for me was not love, till he was seized by that passion for another, a younger, fairer----Oh! how much fairer. Beauty is a great gift of Heaven--not for the purposes of female vanity; but a great gift for one who loves, and wishes to be loved. But beauty I had not.” “Had not!” interrupted Helen, “I always heard----” “_He_ did not think so, my dear; no matter what others thought, at least so I felt at that time. My identity is so much changed that I can look back upon this now, and tell it all to you calmly. “It was at a rehearsal of ancient music; I went there accidentally one morning without my mother, with a certain old duchess and her daughters; the dowager full of some Indian screen which she was going to buy; the daughters, intent, one of them, on a quarrel between two of the singers; the other upon loves and hates of her own. I was the only one of the party who had any real taste for music. I was then particularly fond of it. “Well, my dear, I must come to the point,” her voice changing as she spoke.--“After such a lapse of time, during which my mind, my whole self has so changed, I could not have believed before I began to speak on this subject, that these reminiscences could have so moved me; but it is merely this sudden wakening of ideas long dormant, for years not called up, never put into words. “I was sitting, wrapt in a silent ecstasy of pleasure, leaning back behind the whispering party, when I saw him come in, and, thinking only of his sharing my delight, I made an effort to catch his attention, but he did not see me--his eye was fixed on another; I followed that eye, and saw that most beautiful creature on which it fixed; I saw him seat himself beside her--one look was enough--it was conviction. A pang went through me; I grew cold, but made no sound nor motion; I gasped for breath, I believe, but I did not faint. None cared for me; I was unnoticed--saved from the abasement of pity. I struggled to retain my self-command, and was enabled to complete the purpose on which I then--even _then_, resolved. That resolve gave me force.