"It's my mule," says the Pope, "and, if you were to offer her goolden
oats and clover off the meadows o' Paradise, sorra taste ov aither she'd
let pass her teeth till the first mass is over every Sunday or holiday
in the year."
"Well, and what 'ud you say if I showed you a baste ov mine," says his
Riv'rence, "that, instead ov fasting till first mass is over only, fasts
out the whole four-and-twenty hours ov every Wednesday and Friday in the
week as reg'lar as a Christian?"
"Oh, be asy, Masther Maguire," says the Pope.
"You don't b'lieve me, don't you?" says his Riv'rence; "very well, I'll
soon show you whether or no," and he put his knuckles in his mouth, and
gev a whistle that made the Pope stop his fingers in his ears. The
aycho, my dear, was hardly done playing wid the cobwebs in the cornish,
when the door flies open, and in jumps Spring. The Pope happened to be
sitting next the door, betuxt him and his Riv'rence, and, may I never
die, if he didn't clear him, thriple crown and all, at one spang. "God's
presence be about us!" says the Pope, thinking it was an evil spirit
come to fly away wid him for the lie that he had tould in regard ov his
mule (for it was nothing more nor a thrick that consisted in grazing
the brute's teeth): but, seeing it was only one ov the greatest beauties
ov a greyhound that he'd ever laid his epistolical eyes on, he soon
recovered ov his fright, and began to pat him, while Father Tom ris and
went to the sideboord, where he cut a slice ov pork, a slice ov beef, a
slice ov mutton, and a slice of salmon, and put them all on a plate
thegither. "Here, Spring, my man," says he, setting the plate down afore
him on the hearthstone, "here's your supper for you this blessed Friday
night." Not a word more he said nor what I tell you; and, you may
believe it or not, but it's the blessed truth that the dog, afther jist
tasting the salmon, and spitting it out again, lifted his nose out o'
the plate, and stood wid his jaws wathering, and his tail wagging,
looking up in his Riv'rence's face, as much as to say, "Give me your
absolution, till I hide them temptations out o' my sight."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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