"Of course, I did not dream of renewing an application thus cruelly
repulsed, but resolved to rely on myself alone, and to find some
occupation, however humble, sufficient for my subsistence. I had no
idea, until I tried, of the immense difficulty of procuring such
occupation. Master of no trade or handicraft, I knew not which way to
turn, or what species of employment to seek. I was a good swordsman,
and once I had a vague notion of teaching fencing; but even had I
had the means to establish myself, the profession was already
over-stocked; and not a regiment of the Paris garrison but could turn
out a score of _prévôts_ to button me six times for my once. I could
ride, which qualified me for a postilion, and had sufficient knowledge
of billiards to aspire to the honourable post of a marker; but even to
such offices--could I have stooped to compete for them--I should have
been held ineligible without certificates of character. And to whom
was I to apply for these? To my gay acquaintances of the Café de
Paris? To the obsequious banker to whom I had come handsomely
accredited, and who had given me a sumptuous dinner in his hotel of
the Rue Bergère? To the noble and fashionable families to whom I had
brought letters of recommendation, and whom I had neglected after a
single visit? To which of these should I apply for a character as
groom? And how was I to exist without condescending to some such
menial office? To aught better, gentleman though I was, I had no
qualifications entitling me to aspire. It was a sharp but wholesome
lesson to my vanity and pride, to find myself, so soon as deprived of
my factitious advantage of inherited wealth, less able to provide for
my commonest wants than the fustian-coated mechanic and hob-nailed
labourer, whom I had been wont to splash with my carriage-wheel and
despise as an inferior race of beings. Bitter were my reflections,
great was my perplexity, during the month succeeding my sudden change
of fortune. I passed whole days lying upon the bed in my melancholy
lodging, or leaning out of the window, which looked over a dreary
range of roofs, ruminating my forlorn position, and endeavouring, but
in vain, to find a remedy. This was urgent; but no cudgelling of my
brain suggested one, and at last I saw myself on the brink of
destitution. A score of five-franc pieces had constituted my whole
fortune after satisfying my former extortionate landlord. These were
nearly gone, and I knew not how to obtain another shilling; for my kit
was reduced to linen and the most indispensable necessaries. I now
learned upon how little a man may live, and even thrive and be
healthy. During that month, I contrived to keep my expenses of food
and lodging within two francs a-day, making the whole month's
expenditure considerably less than I had commonly thrown away on an
epicurean breakfast or dinner. And I was all the better for the coarse
regimen to which I thus suddenly found myself reduced. Harassed in
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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