To attempt to rouse him seemed only to increase their violence, as if
the very sound of the human voice was, under his dreadful
circumstances, intolerable, as renewing the sense of reality to a
reason already clouding, and upon the verge of temporary delirium. He
was the picture of despair. As he turned his face to one side, I saw
that a few, but very few hot tears had been forced from his glassy and
blood-shot eyes; and in his writhings he had scratched one cheek
against his iron bedstead, the red discoloration of which contrasted
sadly with the deathly pallidness of hue which his visage now showed:
during his struggles, one shoe had come off, and lay unheeded on the
damp stone-floor. The demon was triumphant within him; and when he
groaned, the sound seemed scarcely that of a human being, so much had
horror changed it. I kneeled over him,--but in vain. He heard
nothing--he felt nothing--he knew nothing, but that extremity of
prostration to which a moment's respite would be Dives' drop of water,
and yet, in such circumstances, anything but a mercy. He could not
bear for a moment to think upon his own death--a moment's respite
would only have added new strength to the agony: he might _be_ dead,
but could not "--die;" and in the storm of my agitation and pity, I
prayed to the Almighty to relieve him at once from sufferings which
seemed too horrible even to be contemplated.
How long this tempest of despair continued, I do not know. All that I
can recall is, that after almost losing my own recollection under the
agitation of the scene, I suddenly perceived that his moans were less
loud and continuous, and that I ventured to look at him, which I had
not done for some space. Nature had become exhausted, and he was
sinking gradually into a stupor, which seemed something between sleep
and fainting. This relief did not continue long--and as soon as I saw
him begin to revive again to a sense of his situation, I made a strong
effort, and lifting him up, seated him again on the pallet, and,
pouring out a small quantity of wine, gave it him to drink, not
without a forlorn hope that even wine might be permitted to afford him
some little strength to bear what remained of his misery, and collect
his ideas for his last hour. After a long pause of returning
recollection, the poor creature got down a little of the cordial, and
as I sat by him and supported him, I began to hope that his spirits
calmed. He held the glass and sipped occasionally, and appeared in
some sort to listen, and to answer to the words of consolation I felt
collected enough to offer. At this moment the low and distant sound of
a clock was heard, distinctly striking one. The ear of despair is
quick; and as he heard it, he shuddered, and in spite of a strong
effort to suppress his emotion, the glass had nearly fallen from his
hand. A severe nervous restlessness now rapidly grew upon him, and he
eagerly drank up one or two small portions of wine, with which I
supplied him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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