My friend, the nervous gentleman, also, who is a man of very shy,
Retired habits, complains that he has been excessively annoyed in
consequence of its getting about in his neighborhood that he is
the fortunate personage. Insomuch, that he has become a character
of considerable notoriety in two or three country towns; and has
been repeatedly teased to exhibit himself at blue-stocking
parties, for no other reason than that of being “the gentleman
who has had a glimpse of the author of Waverley.”
Indeed, the poor man has grown ten times as nervous as ever,
since he has discovered, on such good authority, who the stout
gentleman was; and will never forgive himself for not having made
a more resolute effort to get a full sight of him. He has
anxiously endeavored to call up a recollection of what he saw of
that portly personage; and has ever since kept a curious eye on
all gentlemen of more than ordinary dimensions, whom he has seen
getting into stage coaches. All in vain! The features he had
caught a glimpse of seem common to the whole race of stout
gentlemen; and the great unknown remains as great an unknown as
ever.]
A HUNTING DINNER
I was once at a hunting dinner, given by a worthy fox-hunting old
Baronet, who kept Bachelor’s Hall in jovial style, in an ancient
rook-haunted family mansion, in one of the middle counties. He
had been a devoted admirer of the fair sex in his young days; but
having travelled much, studied the sex in various countries with
distinguished success, and returned home profoundly instructed,
as he supposed, in the ways of woman, and a perfect master of the
art of pleasing, he had the mortification of being jilted by a
little boarding school girl, who was scarcely versed in the
accidence of love.
The Baronet was completely overcome by such an incredible defeat;
retired from the world in disgust, put himself under the
government of his housekeeper, and took to fox-hunting like a
perfect Jehu. Whatever poets may say to the contrary, a man will
grow out of love as he grows old; and a pack of fox hounds may
chase out of his heart even the memory of a boarding-school
goddess. The Baronet was when I saw him as merry and mellow an
old bachelor as ever followed a hound; and the love he had once
felt for one woman had spread itself over the whole sex; so that
there was not a pretty face in the whole country round, but came
in for a share.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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