“A knight of the post,” replied the narrator, “who had been
smitten with the worth of the wealthy widow; or rather a
marauding Tarquin, who had stolen into her chamber to violate her
purse and rifle her strong box when all the house should be
asleep. In plain terms,” continued he, “the vagabond was a loose
idle fellow of the neighborhood, who had once been a servant in
the house, and had been employed to assist in arranging it for
the reception of its mistress. He confessed that he had contrived
his hiding-place for his nefarious purposes, and had borrowed an
eye from the portrait by way of a reconnoitering hole.”
“And what did they do with him—did they hang him?” resumed the
questioner.
“Hang him?—how could they?” exclaimed a beetle-browed barrister,
with a hawk’s nose—“the offence was not capital—no robbery nor
assault had been committed—no forcible entry or breaking into the
premises—”
“My aunt,” said the narrator, “was a woman of spirit, and apt to
take the law into her own hands. She had her own notions of
cleanliness also. She ordered the fellow to be drawn through the
horsepond to cleanse away all offences, and then to be well
rubbed down with an oaken towel.”
“And what became of him afterwards?” said the inquisitive
gentleman.
“I do not exactly know—I believe he was sent on a voyage of
improvement to Botany Bay.”
“And your aunt—” said the inquisitive gentleman—“I’ll warrant she
took care to make her maid sleep in the room with her after
that.”
“No, sir, she did better—she gave her hand shortly after to the
roystering squire; for she used to observe it was a dismal thing
for a woman to sleep alone in the country.”
“She was right,” observed the inquisitive gentleman, nodding his
head sagaciously—“but I am sorry they did not hang that fellow.”
It was agreed on all hands that the last narrator had brought his
tale to the most satisfactory conclusion; though a country
clergyman present regretted that the uncle and aunt, who figured
in the different stories, had not been married together. They
certainly would have been well matched.
“But I don’t see, after all,” said the inquisitive gentleman,
“that there was any ghost in this last story.”
“Oh, if it’s ghosts you want, honey,” cried the Irish captain of
dragoons, “if it’s ghosts you want, you shall have a whole
regiment of them. And since these gentlemen have been giving the
adventures of their uncles and aunts, faith and I’ll e’en give
you a chapter too, out of my own family history.”
THE BOLD DRAGOON; OR THE ADVENTURE OF MY GRANDFATHER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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