Tales of a Vanishing RiverReed, Earl H. (Earl Howell)
History
Tales of a Vanishing River
Reed, Earl H. (Earl Howell)
Illinois -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Kankakee River (Ind. and Ill.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
“The press forms of this issue of our paper were held until proceedings
in this case were disposed of, that the inchoate attorney representing
the prisoner, began before the court now in session at the court house.
“He asked for a writ of _habeas corpus_, and his client has been turned
loose on the community!
“We may say, that while it may be that no jury would have convicted this
man Peets, who admits that he was once an enemy of his country, and
while the testimony was strongly conflicting, the opinion is strong in
this community that the honorable Justice of the Peace rendered a
perfectly just decision.
“The opinions of this journal have always been impartial, and, under the
circumstances it is far be it from us to express one, but not to mention
any names, there is a certain fresh young lawyer in this town who has a
tendency to be a smarty, and a cute Aleck, and to butt in on things that
do not concern him.
“It may be to his interest to lay a little lower. A word to the wise is
sufficient.
“In addition to this, there is a certain alien resident in this county,
of military pretensions, who lives by the sobbing waters of a certain
river—and again we do not mention names—who had better not be caught
wearing false whiskers when he visits this town.”
“And now,” said the Colonel, with a patronizing wave of his hand after
he had given me a still later copy of the paper, “I desiah you to look
at this account of the sequel of this distressing affaiah.”
On the editorial page I read:
“A PUBLIC OUTRAGE!!!
“It is far from the desire of this journal to discuss the personal
interests or affairs of its editor and proprietor. _The Index_, as the
public well knows, has ever been the fearless advocate of fair play for
every citizen, and for every human being, however humble, before the
law. Its motives have always been above reproach. Notwithstanding the
fact that it is the county’s greatest newspaper—unselfishly devoted to
the public interest—it never blows its own horn. It rarely mentions
itself in its own columns. It scorns to publish matter in its own
interest, but the time has come when its clarion voice must be raised to
such a pitch that it may be heard throughout the length and breadth of
the county, so that the public conscience may be awakened, and forever
make impossible a repetition of such an outrage as occurred in front of
the post office on last Saturday afternoon.
“As is well known by all, the editor of this paper, who is also its
proprietor, was publicly attacked by Col. Peets, the scoundrel and
erstwhile prisoner at the bar of justice, who figured so prominently and
so exclusively in the affair of the robbery of the safe in the county
treasurer’s office some weeks ago.
“A handful of our whiskers was seized and twisted away by this vile
miscreant, with the supposedly funny remark that he wanted them for a
disguise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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