East End (London, England) -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
As for Simmons, he, it was held, was fortunate in that capable wife. He
was a moderately good carpenter and joiner, but no man of the world, and
he wanted one. Nobody could tell what might not have happened to Tommy
Simmons if there had been no Mrs. Simmons to take care of him. He was a
meek and quiet man, with a boyish face and sparse, limp whiskers. He had
no vices (even his pipe departed him after his marriage), and Mrs.
Simmons had engrafted on him divers exotic virtues. He went solemnly to
chapel every Sunday, under a tall hat, and put a penny--one returned to
him for the purpose out of his week's wages--in the plate. Then, Mrs.
Simmons overseeing, he took off his best clothes and brushed them with
solicitude and pains. On Saturday afternoons he cleaned the knives, the
forks, the boots, the kettles, and the windows, patiently and
conscientiously. On Tuesday evenings he took the clothes to the
mangling. And on Saturday nights he attended Mrs. Simmons in her
marketing, to carry the parcels.
Mrs. Simmons's own virtues were native and numerous. She was a wonderful
manager. Every penny of Tommy's thirty-six or thirty-eight shillings a
week was bestowed to the greatest advantage, and Tommy never ventured to
guess how much of it she saved. Her cleanliness in housewifery was
distracting to behold. She met Simmons at the front door whenever he
came home, and then and there he changed his boots for slippers,
balancing himself painfully on alternate feet on the cold flags. This
was because she scrubbed the passage and doorstep turn about with the
wife of the downstairs family, and because the stair-carpet was her own.
She vigilantly supervised her husband all through the process of
"cleaning himself" after work, so as to come between her walls and the
possibility of random splashes; and if, in spite of her diligence, a
spot remained to tell the tale, she was at pains to impress the fact on
Simmons's memory, and to set forth at length all the circumstances of
his ungrateful selfishness. In the beginning she had always escorted him
to the ready-made clothes shop, and had selected and paid for his
clothes: for the reason that men are such perfect fools, and shopkeepers
do as they like with them. But she presently improved on that. She found
a man selling cheap remnants at a street corner, and straightway she
conceived the idea of making Simmons's clothes herself. Decision was one
of her virtues, and a suit of uproarious check tweeds was begun that
afternoon from the pattern furnished by an old one. More: it was
finished by Sunday; when Simmons, overcome by astonishment at the feat,
was indued in it, and pushed off to chapel ere he could recover his
senses. The things were not altogether comfortable, he found: the
trousers clung tight against his shins, but hung loose behind his heels;
and when he sat, it was on a wilderness of hard folds and seams. Also
his waistcoat collar tickled his nape, but his coat collar went
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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