She remembered how he had met her the first day, when Mrs. Deering’s
inevitable headache had prevented her from receiving the new teacher,
and how his few questions had at once revealed his interest in the
little stranded, compatriot, doomed to earn a precarious living so far
from her native shore. Sweet as the moment of unburdening had been,
she wondered afterward what had determined it: how she, so shy and
sequestered, had found herself letting slip her whole poverty-stricken
story, even to the avowal of the ineffectual “artistic” tendencies that
had drawn her to Paris, and had then left her there to the dry task of
tuition. She wondered at first, but she understood now; she understood
everything after he had kissed her. It was simply because he was as kind
as he was great.
She thought of this now as she mounted the hill in the spring sunshine,
and she thought of all that had happened since. The intervening months,
as she looked back at them, were merged in a vast golden haze, through
which here and there rose the outline of a shining island. The haze was
the general enveloping sense of his love, and the shining islands were
the days they had spent together. They had never kissed again under his
own roof. Lizzie’s professional honor had a keen edge, but she had been
spared the vulgar necessity of making him feel it. It was of the essence
of her fatality that he always “understood” when his failing to do so
might have imperiled his hold on her.
But her Thursdays and Sundays were free, and it soon became a habit to
give them to him. She knew, for her peace of mind, only too much about
pictures, and galleries and churches had been the one bright outlet from
the grayness of her personal atmosphere. For poetry, too, and the other
imaginative forms of literature, she had always felt more than she had
hitherto had occasion to betray; and now all these folded sympathies
shot out their tendrils to the light. Mr. Deering knew how to express
with unmatched clearness and competence the thoughts that trembled
in her mind: to talk with him was to soar up into the azure on
the outspread wings of his intelligence, and look down dizzily yet
distinctly, on all the wonders and glories of the world. She was a
little ashamed, sometimes, to find how few definite impressions she
brought back from these flights; but that was doubtless because her
heart beat so fast when he was near, and his smile made his words like
a long quiver of light. Afterward, in quieter hours, fragments of
their talk emerged in her memory with wondrous precision, every syllable
as minutely chiseled as some of the delicate objects in crystal or
ivory that he pointed out in the museums they frequented. It was always
a puzzle to Lizzie that some of their hours should be so blurred and
others so vivid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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