They kissed each other--there was the new fact. One does not, if one is
a poor little teacher living in Mme. Clopin’s Pension Suisse at Passy,
and if one has pretty brown hair and eyes that reach out trustfully to
other eyes--one does not, under these common but defenseless
conditions, arrive at the age of twenty-five without being now and then
kissed,--waylaid once by a noisy student between two doors, surprised
once by one’s gray-bearded professor as one bent over the “theme” he was
correcting,--but these episodes, if they tarnish the surface, do not
reach the heart: it is not the kiss endured, but the kiss returned, that
lives. And Lizzie West’s first kiss was for Vincent Deering.
As she drew back from it, something new awoke in her--something deeper
than the fright and the shame, and the penitent thought of Mrs. Deering.
A sleeping germ of life thrilled and unfolded, and started out blindly
to seek the sun.
She might have felt differently, perhaps,--the shame and penitence might
have prevailed,--had she not known him so kind and tender, and guessed
him so baffled, poor, and disappointed. She knew the failure of his
married life, and she divined a corresponding failure in his artistic
career. Lizzie, who had made her own faltering snatch at the same
laurels, brought her thwarted proficiency to bear on the question of his
pictures, which she judged to be extremely brilliant, but suspected of
having somehow failed to affirm their merit publicly. She understood
that he had tasted an earlier moment of success: a mention, a medal,
something official and tangible; then the tide of publicity had somehow
set the other way, and left him stranded in a noble isolation. It was
extraordinary and unbelievable that any one so naturally eminent and
exceptional should have been subject to the same vulgar necessities
that governed her own life, should have known poverty and obscurity and
indifference. But she gathered that this had been the case, and felt
that it formed the miraculous link between them. For through what
medium less revealing than that of shared misfortune would he ever have
perceived so inconspicuous an object as herself? And she recalled now
how gently his eyes had rested on her from the first--the gray eyes that
might have seemed mocking if they had not been so gentle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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