Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'Dear me,' said Mellish. 'Now I never knew that before, Blaize.
Remarkable. But this ought to be seen to. In the meantime, I had better
ask the Headmaster to give out that the Museum is closed until further
notice, I think.'
And closed the Museum has been ever since. That further notice has
never been given. And yet nobody seems to feel as if an essential part
of their life had ceased to be, so to speak. Curious. Bradshaw, after a
short explanation, was allowed to go away without a stain--that is to
say, without any additional stain--on his character. We left the
authorities discussing the matter, and went downstairs.
'Sixpence isn't enough,' I said, 'take this penny. It's all I've got.
You shall have the sixpence on Saturday.'
'Thanks,' said Bradshaw.' Was the Thucydides paper pretty warm?'
'Warmish. But, I say, didn't you get a beastly shock when you locked
the door?'
'I did the week before last, the first time I ever went to the place.
This time I was more or less prepared for it. Blaize seems to think
that paper dodge a special invention of his own. He'll be taking out a
patent for it one of these days. Why, every kid knows that paper
doesn't conduct electricity.'
'I didn't,' I said honestly.
'You don't know much,' said Bradshaw, with equal honesty.
'I don't,' I replied. 'Bradshaw, you're a great man, but you missed the
best part of it all.'
'What, the Thucydides paper?' asked he with a grin.
'No, you missed seeing Gerard jump quite six feet.'
Bradshaw's face expressed keen disappointment.
'No, did he really? Oh, I say, I wish I'd seen it.'
The moral of which is that the wicked do not always prosper. If
Bradshaw had not been in the Museum, he might have seen Gerard jump six
feet, which would have made him happy for weeks. On second thoughts,
though, that does not work out quite right, for if Bradshaw had not
been in the Museum, Gerard would not have jumped at all. No, better put
it this way. I was virtuous, and I had the pleasure of witnessing the
sight I have referred to. But then there was the Thucydides paper,
which Bradshaw missed but which I did not. No. On consideration, the
moral of this story shall be withdrawn and submitted to a committee of
experts. Perhaps they will be able to say what it is.
[7]
THE BABE AND THE DRAGON
The annual inter-house football cup at St Austin's lay between Dacre's,
who were the holders, and Merevale's, who had been runner-up in the
previous year, and had won it altogether three times out of the last
five. The cup was something of a tradition in Merevale's, but of late
Dacre's had become serious rivals, and, as has been said before, were
the present holders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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