Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
The reason for the change had been simple. At the corner of the High
Street at Stapleton was a tobacconist's shop, and Mr Prater, strolling
in one evening to renew his stock of Pioneer, was interested to observe
P. St H. Harrison, of Merevale's, purchasing a consignment of 'Girl of
my Heart' cigarettes (at twopence-halfpenny the packet of twenty,
including a coloured picture of Lord Kitchener). Now, Mr Prater was one
of the most sportsmanlike of masters. If he had merely met Harrison out
of bounds, and it had been possible to have overlooked him, he would
have done so. But such a proceeding in the interior of a small shop was
impossible. There was nothing to palliate the crime. The tobacconist
also kept the wolf from the door, and lured the juvenile population of
the neighbourhood to it, by selling various weird brands of sweets, but
it was only too obvious that Harrison was not after these. Guilt was in
his eye, and the packet of cigarettes in his hand. Also Harrison's
House cap was fixed firmly at the back of his head. Mr Prater finished
buying his Pioneer, and went out without a word. That night it was
announced to Harrison that the Headmaster wished to see him. The
Headmaster saw him, though for a certain period of the interview he did
not see the Headmaster, having turned his back on him by request. On
the following day Stapleton was placed doubly out of bounds.
Tony, who was still in bed, had not heard the news when Charteris came
to see him on the evening of the day on which the edict had gone forth.
'How are you getting on?' asked Charteris.
'Oh, fairly well. It's rather slow.'
'The grub seems all right.' Charteris absently reached out for a slice
of cake.
'Not bad.'
'And you don't have to do any work.'
'No.'
'Well, then, it seems to me you're having a jolly good time. What don't
you like about it?'
'It's so slow, being alone all day.'
'Makes you appreciate intellectual conversation all the more when you
get it. Mine, for instance.'
'I want something to read.'
'I'll bring you a Sidgwick's _Greek Prose Composition_, if you
like. Full of racy stories.'
'I've read 'em, thanks.'
'How about Jebb's _Homer_? You'd like that. Awfully interesting.
Proves that there never was such a man as Homer, you know, and that the
_Iliad_ and the _Odyssey_ were produced by evolution. General
style, quietly funny. Make you roar.'
'Don't be an idiot. I'm simply starving for something to read. Haven't
you got anything?'
'You've read all mine.'
'Hasn't Welch got any books?'
'Not one. He bags mine when he wants to read. I'll tell you what I will
do if you like.'
'What?'
'Go into Stapleton, and borrow something from Adamson.' Adamson was the
College doctor.
'By Jove, that's not a bad idea.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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