Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'You _are_ an idiot. And now this Bargee man will go straight to
the Old Man and run you in. I wonder you didn't think of that.'
'Curious I didn't.'
'I suppose he saw you come in here?'
'Rather. He couldn't have had a better view if he'd paid for a seat.
Half a second; I must just run up with these volumes to Tony.'
When he came back he found Welch more serious than ever.
'I told you so,' said Welch. 'You're to go to the Old Man at once. He's
just sent over for you. I say, look here, if it's only lines I don't
mind doing some of them, if you like.'
Charteris was quite touched by this sporting offer.
'It's awfully good of you,' he said, 'but it doesn't matter, really. I
shall be all right.'
Ten minutes later he returned, beaming.
'Well,' said Welch, 'what's he given you?'
'Only his love, to give to you. It was this way. He first asked me if I
wasn't perfectly aware that Stapleton was out of bounds. "Sir," says I,
"I've known it from childhood's earliest hour." "Ah," says he to me,
"did Mr Merevale give you leave to go in this afternoon?" "No," says I,
"I never consulted the gent you mention."'
'Well?'
'Then he ragged me for ten minutes, and finally told me I must go into
extra the next two Saturdays.'
'I thought so.'
'Ah, but mark the sequel. When he had finished, I said that I was sorry
I had mistaken the rules, but I had thought that a chap was allowed to
go into Stapleton if he got leave from a master. "But you said that Mr
Merevale did not give you leave," said he. "Friend of my youth," I
replied courteously, "you are perfectly correct. As always. Mr Merevale
did not give me leave, but," I added suavely, "Mr Dacre did." And I
came away, chanting hymns of triumph in a mellow baritone, and leaving
him in a dead faint on the sofa. And the Bargee, who was present during
the conflict, swiftly and silently vanished away, his morale
considerably shattered. And that, my gentle Welch,' concluded Charteris
cheerfully, 'put me one up. So pass the biscuits, and let us rejoice if
we never rejoice again.'
_Chapter 3_
The Easter term was nearing its end. Football, with the exception of
the final House-match, which had still to come off, was over, and life
was in consequence a trifle less exhilarating than it might have been.
In some ways the last few weeks before the Easter holidays are quite
pleasant. You can put on running shorts and a blazer and potter about
the grounds, feeling strong and athletic, and delude yourself into the
notion that you are training for the sports. Ten minutes at the broad
jump, five with the weight, a few sprints on the track--it is all very
amusing and harmless, but it is apt to become monotonous after a time.
And if the weather is at all inclined to be chilly, such an occupation
becomes impossible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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