Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'Grand. Couldn't you get in something about the M.C.C. match? You could
make cricket rhyme with wicket.' Smith sat entranced with his
ingenuity, but the other treated so material a suggestion with scorn.
'Well,' said Smith, 'I must be off now. We've got a House-match on.
Thanks awfully about the poem.'
Left to himself, Reynolds set himself seriously to the composing of an
ode that should do him justice. That is to say, he drew up a chair and
table to the open window, wrote down the lines he had already composed,
and began chewing a pen. After a few minutes he wrote another four
lines, crossed them out, and selected a fresh piece of paper. He then
copied out his first four lines again. After eating his pen to a stump,
he jotted down the two words 'boys' and 'joys' at the end of separate
lines. This led him to select a third piece of paper, on which he
produced a sort of _edition de luxe_ in his best handwriting, with
the title 'Ode to the College' in printed letters at the top. He was
admiring the neat effect of this when the door opened suddenly and
violently, and Mrs Lee, a lady of advanced years and energetic habits,
whose duty it was to minister to the needs of the sick and wounded in
the infirmary, entered with his tea. Mrs Lee's method of entering a
room was in accordance with the advice of the Psalmist, where he says,
'Fling wide the gates'. She flung wide the gate of the sick-room, and
the result was that what is commonly called 'a thorough draught' was
established. The air was thick with flying papers, and when calm at
length succeeded storm, two editions of 'Ode to the College' were lying
on the grass outside.
Reynolds attacked the tea without attempting to retrieve his vanished
work. Poetry is good, but tea is better. Besides, he argued within
himself, he remembered all he had written, and could easily write it
out again. So, as far as he was concerned, those three sheets of paper
were a closed book.
Later on in the afternoon, Montgomery of the Sixth happened to be
passing by the infirmary, when Fate, aided by a sudden gust of wind,
blew a piece of paper at him. 'Great Scott,' he observed, as his eye
fell on the words 'Ode to the College'. Montgomery, like Smith, was no
expert in poetry. He had spent a wretched afternoon trying to hammer
out something that would pass muster in the poem competition, but
without the least success. There were four lines on the paper. Two
more, and it would be a poem, and capable of being entered for the
prize as such. The words 'imposing pile', with which the fragment in
his hand began, took his fancy immensely. A poetic afflatus seized him,
and in less than three hours he had added the necessary couplet,
How truly sweet it is for such as me
To gaze on thee.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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