Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'And dashed neat, too,' he said, with satisfaction, as he threw the
manuscript into his drawer. 'I don't know whether "me" shouldn't be
"I", but they'll have to lump it. It's a poem, anyhow, within the
meaning of the act.' And he strolled off to a neighbour's study to
borrow a book.
Two nights afterwards, Morrison, also of the Sixth, was enjoying his
usual during prep siesta in his study. A tap at the door roused him.
Hastily seizing a lexicon, he assumed the attitude of the seeker after
knowledge, and said, 'Come in.' It was not the House-master, but Evans,
Morrison's fag, who entered with pride on his face and a piece of paper
in his hand.
'I say,' he began, 'you remember you told me to hunt up some tags for
the poem. Will this do?'
Morrison took the paper with a judicial air. On it were the words:
Imposing pile, reared up 'midst pleasant grounds,
The scene of many a battle, lost or won,
At cricket or at football; whose red walls
Full many a sun has kissed 'ere day is done.
'That's ripping, as far as it goes,' said Morrison. 'Couldn't be
better. You'll find some apples in that box. Better take a few. But
look here,' with sudden suspicion, 'I don't believe you made all this
up yourself. Did you?'
Evans finished selecting his apples before venturing on a reply. Then
he blushed, as much as a member of the junior school is capable of
blushing.
'Well,' he said, 'I didn't exactly. You see, you only told me to get
the tags. You didn't say how.'
'But how did you get hold of this? Whose is it?'
'Dunno. I found it in the field between the Pavilion and the
infirmary.'
'Oh! well, it doesn't matter much. They're just what I wanted, which is
the great thing. Thanks. Shut the door, will you?' Whereupon Evans
retired, the richer by many apples, and Morrison resumed his siesta at
the point where he had left off.
'Got that poem done yet?' said Smith to Reynolds, pouring out a cup of
tea for the invalid on the following Sunday.
'Two lumps, please. No, not quite.'
'Great Caesar, man, when'll it be ready, do you think? It's got to go
in tomorrow.'
'Well, I'm really frightfully sorry, but I got hold of a grand book.
Ever read--?'
'Isn't any of it done?' asked Smith.
'Only the first verse, I'm afraid. But, look here, you aren't keen on
getting the prize. Why not send in only the one verse? It makes a
fairly decent poem.'
'Hum! Think the Old 'Un'll pass it?'
'He'll have to. There's nothing in the rules about length. Here it is
if you want it.'
'Thanks. I suppose it'll be all right? So long! I must be off.'
The Headmaster, known to the world as the Rev. Arthur James Perceval,
M.A., and to the School as the Old 'Un, was sitting at breakfast,
stirring his coffee, with a look of marked perplexity upon his
dignified face. This was not caused by the coffee, which was excellent,
but by a letter which he held in his left hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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