Tales of the Long BowChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
Tales of the Long Bow
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
“Thus we all had the pleasure of seeing in the papers a picture of
Sir Horace Hunter, O.B.E., smiling in an ingratiating manner at his
favourite cockatoo. We know this detail of his existence, which might
seem a merely domestic one. But the fact that he is shortly to be
paid thirty thousand pounds of public money, for continuing to live
in his own house, is concealed with the utmost delicacy.
“Similarly we have seen whole pages of an illustrated paper filled
with glimpses of Lord Normantowers enjoying his honeymoon, which the
papers in question are careful to describe as his Romance. Whatever
it may be, an antiquated and fastidious taste might possibly be
disposed to regard it as his own affair. But the fact that the
taxpayer’s money, which is the taxpayer’s affair, is to be given him
in enormous quantities, first for going out of his castle, and then
for coming back into it--this little domestic detail is thought too
trivial for the taxpayer to be told of it.
“Or again, we are frequently informed that the hobby of Mr. Rosenbaum
Low is improving the breed of Pekinese, and God knows they need it.
But it would seem the sort of hobby that anybody might have without
telling everybody else about it. On the other hand, the fact that
Mr. Rosenbaum Low is being paid twice over for the same house, and
keeping the house as well, is concealed from the public; along with
the equally interesting fact that he is allowed to do these things
chiefly because he lends money to the Prime Minister.”
The Prime Minister smiled still more grimly and glanced in a light yet
lingering fashion at some of the accompanying leaflets. They seemed
to be in the form of electioneering leaflets, though not apparently
connected with any particular election.
“Vote for Crane. He Said He would Eat His Hat and Did It. Lord
Normantowers said he would explain how people came to swallow his
coronet; but he hasn’t done it yet.
“Vote for Pierce. He Said Pigs Would Fly And They Did. Rosenbaum Low
said a service of international aërial express trains would fly; and
they didn’t. It was your money he made to fly.
“Vote for the League of the Long Bow. They Are The Only Men Who Don’t
Tell Lies.”
The Prime Minister stood gazing after the vanishing cloud-castle, as it
faded into the clouds, with a curious expression in his eyes. Whether
it were better or worse for his soul, there was something in him that
understood much that the muddled materialists around him could never
understand.
“Quite poetical, isn’t it?” he said drily. “Wasn’t it Victor Hugo
or some French poet who said something about politics and the
clouds?... The people say, ‘Bah, the poet is in the clouds. So is the
thunderbolt.’”
“Thunderbolts!” said Normantowers contemptuously. “What can those fools
do but go about flinging fireworks?”
“Quite so,” replied Eden; “but I’m afraid by this time they are
flinging fireworks into a powder magazine.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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