Tales of the Long BowChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
Tales of the Long Bow
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
She had come suddenly round the corner of the house. Her dress was
of a dark but vivid blue, very plain and angular in outline, but not
outrageously artistic; and in the morning light she looked less like
a schoolgirl and more like a serious woman of twenty-five or thirty;
a little older and a great deal more interesting. And something in
this morning seriousness increased the reaction of the night before.
One single wave of thanksgiving went up from Crane to think that at
least his grotesque green hat was gone and done with for ever. He had
worn it for a week without caring a curse for anybody; but during that
ten minutes’ trivial talk under the lamp-post, he felt as if he had
suddenly grown donkey’s ears in the street.
He had been induced by the sunny weather to have a little table laid
for three in a sort of veranda open to the garden. When the three sat
down to it, he looked across at the lady and said: “I fear I must
exhibit myself as a crank; one of those cranks your cousin disapproves
of, Miss Smith. I hope it won’t spoil this little lunch for anybody
else. But I am going to have a vegetarian meal.”
“Are you?” she said. “I should never have said you looked like a
vegetarian.”
“Just lately I have only looked like a fool,” he said dispassionately;
“but I think I’d sooner look a fool than a vegetarian in the ordinary
way. This is rather a special occasion. Perhaps my friend Hood had
better begin; it’s really his story more than mine.”
“My name is Robert Owen Hood,” said that gentleman, rather
sardonically. “That’s how improbable reminiscences often begin; but
the only point now is that my old friend here insulted me horribly by
calling me Robin Hood.”
“I should have called it a compliment,” answered Audrey Smith. “But why
did he call you Robin Hood?”
“Because I drew the long bow,” said the lawyer.
“But to do you justice,” said the Colonel, “it seems that you hit the
bull’s-eye.”
As he spoke Archer came in bearing a dish which he placed before his
master. He had already served the others with the earlier courses, but
he carried this one with the pomp of one bringing in the boar’s head at
Christmas. It consisted of a plain boiled cabbage.
“I was challenged to do something,” went on Hood, “which my friend here
declared to be impossible. In fact, any sane man would have declared
it to be impossible. But I did it for all that. Only my friend, in
the heat of rejecting and ridiculing the notion, made use of a hasty
expression. I might almost say he made a rash vow.”
“My exact words were,” said Colonel Crane solemnly: “‘If you can do
that, I’ll eat my hat.’”
He leaned forward thoughtfully and began to eat it. Then he resumed in
the same reflective way:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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