Tales of the Long BowChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
Tales of the Long Bow
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Mr. Oates’s conversation might not be brilliant, but it was continuous.
Pierce and his friends had begun with some notion of dangling their
own escapades before him like dancing dolls before a child; they had
told him something of the affair of the Colonel and his cabbage, of
the captain and his pigs, of the parson and his elephants; but they
soon found that their hearer had not come there merely as a listener.
What he thought of their romantic buffooneries it would be hard to
say; probably he did not understand them, possibly he did not even
hear them. Anyhow, his own monologue went on. He was a leisurely
speaker. They found themselves revising much that they had heard about
the snap and smartness and hurry of American talk. He spoke without
haste or embarrassment, his eye boring into space, and he more than
fulfilled Mr. Pierce’s hopes of somebody who would talk about business
matters. His talk was a mild torrent of facts and figures, especially
figures. In fact the background was doing all it could to contribute
the required undertone of common commercial life. The background was
justifying all their hopes that it would be practical and prosaic. Only
the background had rather the air of having become the foreground.
“When they put that up to me I saw it was the proposition,” Mr.
Oates was saying. “I saw I’d got on to something better than my old
regulation turnover of eighty-five thousand dollars on each branch. I
reckoned I should save a hundred and twenty thousand dollars in the
long run by scrapping the old plant, even if I had to drop another
thirty thousand dollars on new works, where I’d get the raw material
for a red cent. I saw right away that was the point to freeze on to;
that I just got a chance to sell something I didn’t need to buy;
something that could be sort of given away like old match-ends. I
figured out it would be better by a long chalk to let the other guys
rear the stock and sell me their refuse for next to nix, so I could get
ahead with turning it into the goods. So I started in right away and
got there at the first go-off with an increase of seven hundred and
fifty-one thousand dollars.”
“Seven hundred and fifty-one thousand dollars,” murmured Owen Hood.
“How soothing it all seems.”
“I reckon those mutts didn’t get on to what they were selling me,”
continued Mr. Oates, “or didn’t have the pep to use it that way
themselves; for though it was the sure-enough hot tip, it isn’t
everybody would have thought of it. When I was in pork, of course, I
wanted the other guys out; but just now I wasn’t putting anything on
pork, but only on just that part of a pig I wanted and they didn’t
want. By notifying all your pig farmers I was able to import nine
hundred and twenty-five thousand pigs’ ears this fall, and I guess I
can get consignments all winter.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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