The truth was, that she had been accustomed for some months to feel
herself the first object with Mr. Wroxholme; and although no words ever
passed which expressed, or implied, that such might be the case, it
was that consciousness which made her find his society so agreeable.
She had felt so secure that she was past the age when she need guard
her heart from tender impressions, that she had relaxed in her former
watchfulness; she had felt so strong in her virtue, that she had
not taken heed lest she might fall; and it was with a sense of deep
humiliation and self-abasement that she awoke to a conviction of her
weakness. She thenceforth resolved to keep strict watch and ward over
her inward feelings, as well as over her outward actions.
These resolutions were more easily taken than carried into effect: she
had no right to assume coldness towards a person who had never given
her the slightest cause of offence, who had never presumed upon the
intimate footing to which he had been admitted in the house.
How difficult is it, with the very best intentions, for a woman
who lives in the world to steer entirely clear of suspicion, or
misinterpretation, unless there exists between her and her husband a
frank and cordial understanding! If, with all her knowledge of the
world, Lady Westhope did not find it easy to shape her conduct so as
to be discreet without prudery, and cool without unkindness, it is not
surprising that the inexperienced should, without really deserving it,
occasionally lay themselves open to blame.
The subject of love is one which young ladies are not allowed to
discuss; at least, not with their elders. But how much have parents
to answer for, who, by their avoidance of the subject, leave the
responsibility of forming their daughters' minds on a point of such
vital importance, to the man whom they may chance to marry! How much
has the husband to answer for, who, by his neglect, his sternness, or
his profligate notions, fails to become the guardian of the virtue he
is bound to protect! Yet, by light conversation, by reporting gossiping
anecdotes, and witty though immoral jokes, how frequently does he treat
with levity, and make the subject of mirth and ridicule, errors, nay
crimes, which hitherto the girlish matron has scarcely ventured to
contemplate! Is it wonderful that the young mind should sometimes, when
it fancies it only throws off the shackles of old-fashioned prejudice,
discard at the same time the restraint of rigid principle? And the
husband who has thus contaminated the fountain whence the actions flow,
is surprised and indignant that the purity he once admired should have
given place to notions more resembling his own! Is it surprising that a
young creature, whose mind is thus deprived of ballast and of rudder,
should in the voyage of life fail to steer clear of shoals and hidden
reefs?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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