"The story I intended to start the club with to-night is one that I myself took part in in my younger days, and which, although I never related to any of the club before, I have been upon the point of relating a hundred times, when I have been invariably interrupted by someone else who had some other tale to relate. The story I have in store for you this evening, gentlemen, I propose to entitle 'The Phantom Flea.'" "Ha, Bravo!" laughed the guests. "The Phantom Flea! Ha! ha! ha!" "I assure you, gentlemen," said the lawyer, gravely, "that the narrative I am about to relate is not one to provoke mirth. It is of a solemn character, I can promise you. No one felt less inclined to laugh than I did when I was reluctantly compelled to take part in this tragedy. Though by no means a timid man, I, nevertheless, experienced a sort of cold shiver all down my back when----" "Exactly so," said the doctor. "And each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porcupine," quoted Mr. Blackdeed, the tragedian. "Belay that," roared Captain Toughyarn, from the depths of his stentorian lungs, "and make room on board for the 'Phantom Flea.'" "Bedad, and sure I feel myself itching all over alriddy," broke in Mr. Jollytoast, assuming an Irish brogue, and scratching himself. "Order, order! Chair, chair!" called out other guests. "Silence! gentlemen," said Mr. Oldstone, with authority, thumping on the table; "the story is just about to commence." "The performance is just a-goin' to begin," broke in the incorrigible little comedian, assuming the air of a showman. "Valk up, valk up, ladies and gentlemen." "Hush! Mr. Jollytoast," said the antiquary. "Hush! gentlemen, for the 'Phantom Flea.'" "Tremulous music, lights half down," muttered the tragedian; but he was instantly silenced by the chairman. Mr. Oldstone gave one final authoritative thump on the table, and glanced severely at all the guests. The silence that ensued was awful, while Mr. Hardcase, after a sip at his glass and a puff at his long churchwarden, began his story in the following manner: [Illustration] CHAPTER I. THE PHANTOM FLEA.--THE LAWYER'S STORY.[1] One morning, many years ago, whilst sitting idly in my chambers in town, I received a letter from Baron ---- to come down for a few days to his country seat in ----shire. It was on business he wanted me; he had got involved in some quarrel. The case was about to be brought before the court, and the Baron wanted a legal adviser. [1] In the spirit world all those who have been bloodthirsty to excess inhabit the forms of fleas.--WILLIAM BLAKE, _Poet and Visionary_. (_Quoted from memory._)