“By Heavens!” he repeated, slowly, and in a tone whose involuntary
strangeness was a complete mystery to himself. “By Heavens--I could
believe you--I could believe anything--now!”
He turned short on his heel and began to walk up and down the room with
an air of having disburdened himself of the final pronouncement of his
life--of having said something on which he would not go back, even if
he could. She remained as if rooted to the carpet. Her eyes followed
the restless movements of the man, who avoided looking at her. Her wide
stare clung to him, inquiring, wondering and doubtful.
“But the fellow was forever sticking in here,” he burst out,
distractedly. “He made love to you, I suppose--and, and . . .” He
lowered his voice. “And--you let him.”
“And I let him,” she murmured, catching his intonation, so that her
voice sounded unconscious, sounded far off and slavish, like an echo.
He said twice, “You! You!” violently, then calmed down. “What could you
see in the fellow?” he asked, with unaffected wonder. “An effeminate,
fat ass. What could you . . . Weren’t you happy? Didn’t you have all you
wanted? Now--frankly; did I deceive your expectations in any way? Were
you disappointed with our position--or with our prospects--perhaps? You
know you couldn’t be--they are much better than you could hope for when
you married me. . . .”
He forgot himself so far as to gesticulate a little while he went on
with animation:
“What could you expect from such a fellow? He’s an outsider--a rank
outsider. . . . If it hadn’t been for my money . . . do you hear? . . .
for my money, he wouldn’t know where to turn. His people won’t have
anything to do with him. The fellow’s no class--no class at all.
He’s useful, certainly, that’s why I . . . I thought you had enough
intelligence to see it. . . . And you . . . No! It’s incredible!
What did he tell you? Do you care for no one’s opinion--is there no
restraining influence in the world for you--women? Did you ever give me
a thought? I tried to be a good husband. Did I fail? Tell me--what have
I done?”
Carried away by his feelings he took his head in both his hands and
repeated wildly:
“What have I done? . . . Tell me! What? . . .”
“Nothing,” she said.
“Ah! You see . . . you can’t . . .” he began, triumphantly, walking
away; then suddenly, as though he had been flung back at her by
something invisible he had met, he spun round and shouted with
exasperation:
“What on earth did you expect me to do?”
Without a word she moved slowly towards the table, and, sitting down,
leaned on her elbow, shading her eyes with her hand. All that time he
glared at her watchfully as if expecting every moment to find in her
deliberate movements an answer to his question. But he could not read
anything, he could gather no hint of her thought. He tried to suppress
his desire to shout, and after waiting awhile, said with incisive scorn:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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