He must have told his young fellow craftsmen first, for youth goes
first to youth with its hallucinations. And they, what could they have
said? You cannot say of madness that it is mad, you cannot call
absurdity absurd. To have criticized would have revealed jealousy; and
as for praise you could not praise a thing like that. They probably
shrugged, made gestures; and perhaps one friend warned him. But you
cannot warn a man against a madness; if the madness is in possession
it will not be warned away: why should it? And then perhaps he went to
the old barbers of the Court. You can picture their anger. Age does
not learn from youth in any case. But there was the insult to their
ancient craft, bad enough if only imagined, but here openly spoken of.
And what would come of it? They must have feared, on the one hand,
dishonour to their craft if this young barber were treated as his
levity deserved; and, on the other hand, could they have feared his
success? I think they could not have guessed it.
And then the young idiot with his preposterous inspiration must have
looked about to see where he could practise his new absurdity. It
should have been enough to have talked about it among his fellow
barbers; they would have gone with new zest to their work next day for
this delirious interlude, and no harm would have been done. “Fritz,”
(or Hans) they would have said, “was a bit on last night, a bit full
up,” or whatever phrase they use to touch on drunkenness; and the
thing would have been forgotten. We all have our fancies. But this
young fool wanted to get his fancy mixed up with practice: that’s
where he was mad. And in Potsdam, of all places.
He probably tried his friends first, young barbers at the Court and
others of his own standing. None of them were fools enough to be seen
going about like that. They had jobs to lose. A Court barber is one
thing, a man who cuts ordinary hair is quite another. Why should they
become outcasts because their friend chose to be mad?
He probably tried his inferiors then, but they would have been timid
folk; they must have seen the thing was absurd, and of course daren’t
risk it. Again, why should they?
Did he try to get some noble then to patronize his invention? Probably
the first refusals he had soon inflamed his madness more, and he threw
caution insanely to the winds, and went straight to the Emperor.
It was probably about the time that the Emperor dismissed Bismarck;
certainly the drawings of that time show him still with a sane
moustache.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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