2. _The uselessness of swearing._ "Surely," says Dr. Barrow, "of all dealers in sin the swearer is palpably the silliest, and maketh the worst bargains for himself; for he sinneth gratis, and, like those in the prophet, _selleth his soul for nothing_. An epicure hath some reason to allege; an extortioner is a man of wisdom, and acteth prudently in comparison to him; for they enjoy some pleasure, or acquire some gain here, in lieu of their salvation hereafter: but this fondling offendeth heaven, and abandoneth happiness, he knoweth not why or for what. He hath not so much as the common plea of human infirmity to excuse him; he can hardly say he was tempted thereto by any bait." The following incident will illustrate the senselessness of swearing as frequently practised:-- Three travellers in a coach endeavoured to shorten the tedious hours by relating stories. One of them, an officer, who had seen much of the world, spoke of his past dangers, and former comrades, in so interesting a manner, that his companions would have been charmed with his recitals had he not interspersed them with continual oaths and imprecations. When he had finished his tale, an elderly gentleman, who had not yet spoken, was asked for a story. Without hesitation he thus commenced his narration:-- "Gentlemen, it is now nearly twenty years since I was travelling on this road, on a very dark night, when--_a thousand trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--an accident occurred,--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--of which I cannot even now think without shuddering. I truly believe--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--that it happened on the very spot which we are now passing. The coach was going on at the usual speed of--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--when we were suddenly alarmed by the noise of horses galloping after us.--_Trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--We distinctly heard voices crying, 'Stop! stop!'--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--said I to my companions, 'We are pursued by robbers!'--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--'It is not possible,' cried the other travellers.--_Pipes and strings!_--'Oh, yes,' said I, 'it is but too true,' and on looking out of the window, I saw that those--_trumpets, pipes, and strings!_--horsemen had overtaken us. Just as the carriage--_trumpets, pipes, and----_" Here the officer's impatience could no longer be restrained. "I hope you will excuse my interrupting you, sir," said he, "but for the life of me I cannot see what your _trumpets, pipes, and strings_ have to do with your story." "Sir," replied the old man, "you astonish me. Have you not perceived that these words are quite as necessary to my tale as the _oaths_ and _imprecations_ with which you seasoned yours? Allow me to offer you a few words of counsel: you are yet young, you can yet correct this sad habit, which shows lightness of character and disrespect for God's sacred name and presence."