“He rows out on the lake to where the water’s deep; then he takes the
post-hole auger and bores a hole clean down to the bottom so as the
whiffle-pooffle can come up to the top. Then he has the story-teller
tell the funniest stories he can think of--all about Pat and Mike and
an Englishman and a Scotchman, and all that.
“Purty soon the whiffle-pooffle gits interested and pricks up his ears.
Then Bill tells the story-teller to git funnier. Then purty soon the
whiffle-pooffle is so amused that he comes up through the hole and
sticks out his head. Bill tells the man to keep on gittin’ funnier
and funnier till the whiffle-pooffle comes clean out on top of the
water. Then Bill begins to ply the oars, very gentle-like at first.
The whiffle-pooffle is so interested and amused that he jest naturally
can’t help but foller the story-teller, who all the time is gittin’
funnier and funnier. Bill rows faster and faster, all the time makin’
straight for the bank.
[Illustration: “_Purty soon the whiffle-pooffle gits interested and
pricks up his ears._”]
“Jest before he gits there, when he is rowin’ as fast as he can, he
pours the oil out on the water and cuts sharply to the left. By that
time the whiffle-pooffle has got up so much speed on the slick water
that he can’t stop, and he jest naturally slides right out on the
bank. Then Pecos Bill lands on him. If you ever git one of the critters
on the land, he’s jest as helpless as a year-old baby. But they’re
mighty bashful, mighty bashful.”
“In that particular, thay ain’t a-tall like the club-tailed
glyptodont,” said Red, “which is a very ferocious and vicious beast.
I’ll tell you, Lanky, when you’re ridin’ around in the canyons and meet
one of them fellers, you’d better not git into any disputes with him
about your highway rights. Jist give him the whole road and don’t argue
with him. And be careful you don’t hang around under the rim-rock when
them critters is around.”
“I take it they are animals,” said Lanky.
“Yeah, I guess they belong to the kingdom of beasts,” replied Red.
“Some people call ’em whang-doodles, but they ain’t real whang-doodles,
bein’ much bigger and more ferocious. They’re purty scerce now, but
when we work the canyon tomorrow, I can show you places where they have
been. Yes, sir, I can show you the very spot where one of them fellers
took off one of the very best friends I ever had in this world.”
“A sort of mountain lion, I suppose,” said Lanky.
“Son, one of them babies would make a mountain lion look like a kitten.
Besides, they don’t belong to the feline species nohow, bein’ more like
a kangaroo in build, and about sixteen hands high when on all-fours,
though most of the time they hop along on their hind legs and tail and
keep their forepaws ready to biff anything that gits in their way. And
if one of them critters hits you--well, you’re lucky if they find
anything to bury.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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