I can tell you only a few of the adventures that befell Theseus on the
road to Athens. It is enough to say, that he quite cleared that part
of the country of the robbers, about whom King Pittheus had been so
much alarmed. One of these bad people was named Procrustes; and he was
indeed a terrible fellow, and had an ugly way of making fun of the poor
travellers who happened to fall into his clutches. In his cavern he had
a bed, on which, with great pretence of hospitality, he invited his
guests to lie down; but if they happened to be shorter than the bed,
this wicked villain stretched them out by main force; or, if they were
too tall, he lopped off their heads or feet, and laughed at what he
had done, as an excellent joke. Thus, however weary a man might be he
never liked to lie in the bed of Procrustes. Another of these robbers,
named Scinis, must likewise have been a very great scoundrel. He was in
the habit of flinging his victims off a high cliff into the sea; and,
in order to give him exactly his deserts, Theseus tossed him off the
very same place. But if you will believe me, the sea would not pollute
itself by receiving such a bad person into its bosom, neither would the
earth, having once got rid of him, consent to take him back; so that,
between the cliff and the sea, Scinis stuck fast in the air, which was
forced to bear the burden of his naughtiness.
After these memorable deeds, Theseus heard of an enormous sow, which
ran wild, and was the terror of all the farmers round about; and, as he
did not consider himself above doing any good thing that came in his
way, he killed this monstrous creature, and gave the carcass to the
poor people for bacon. The great sow had been an awful beast, while
ramping about the woods and fields, but was a pleasant object enough
when cut up into joints, and smoking on I know not how many dinner
tables.
Thus, by the time he reached his journey's end, Theseus had done many
valiant feats with his father's golden-hilted sword, and had gained
the renown of being one of the bravest young men of the day. His
fame travelled faster than he did, and reached Athens before him. As
he entered the city, he heard the inhabitants talking at the street
corners, and saying that Hercules was brave, and Jason too, and Castor
and Pollux likewise, but that Theseus, the son of their own king, would
turn out as great a hero as the best of them. Theseus took longer
strides on hearing this, and fancied himself sure of a magnificent
reception at his father's court, since he came thither with Fame to
blow her trumpet before him, and cry to King Ægeus, "Behold your son!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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