The muddy water war full four feet deep, And I came quite n’ar bein’ drown’d, _As with the old mule I battl’d thar, With the bees what war buzzin’ ’round_! I shall never forget that frisky brute, What flounder’d erbout and shook Them ere buzzin’ insects from orf his ears, And danced like mad in the brook,— One minute he lay flat upon his back— _The next balanced, on his fores,_ _With his tail stuck out, and kickin’ like mad,_ _As the bees fell on him by scores_! Wal, while this battle war ergoin’ on ’Twixt the bees and the valiant mule, I had a chance ter crawl up ter the bank— Don’t say that my action war cru’l— For the critter war much better prepar’d With his tail ter banish his foes, While I had not a durn’d thing erbout me Ter aid him the battle ter close. I had had quite ernough of that skirmish, And erway up the hill I run As quickly as my shanks would carry me, In sarch of my knapsack and gun. When I had found them I war satersfied, And did not rernew the ertack On them wild bees; but, boys, I’m not carten _But that mule still lies on his back Erway down thar in Berks county, fightin’ The dercendents of them mad bees What that day swarm’d out of that broken hive! That’s the yarn!_—Who’s treat is it, please? [Illustration] THAT LITTLE BLACK PET OF OUR’N. Elder, quite a good story is that Ye read from the Bible ter-day, Of how that truant, surnam’d Jonah, Succeeded in findin’ his way Ter the mouth of that erbligin’ whale, What tuk him in out of the wet, And entertain’d him three days and nights, Whar thar’s free erpartments ter let! ’Pears ter me, that whale war kind-hearted Ter render sich an act; I’m sure Most lan’lords would jist tell him ter git Mighty quick away from thar door— If he’d not the spondulicks ter pay For his meals, his washin’ and bed; But this generous whale surplied all, And never tax’d Jonah a red! [Illustration] Do ye think ye could find a lan’lord In these days as kind as that whale, _What opened his mouth and ax’d him in When the sea war runnin’ a gale_! I guess ye’d look a long while, Elder, Ter find one in this ere big State, Who would not a cuss’d right smart at him, And left Mr. J. ter his fate. Elder, I’ve been thinkin’ it over, And, dog on it! I cannot see How that story can be at all true; But as _you_ say so, it must be: For ye teech us ter berlieve each word What is writ for our edderfecation, Ter turn poor sinners ter Jesus Christ, And rescue ’em from damnation!