“Oh! I hope you’ve made a good drawing. May I see?” She intended to
emphasize the reason of this exposure.
He had got up, and before she knew what he was doing caught hold of her
above the elbow, chafing her arm, saying:
“You have pins and needles, Fräulein?” The “Fräulein” used here had some
disquieting sound. She drew herself away, now serious and on the defence.
“No, thank you. Now I will put my blouse on, if you have finished.”
They had looked at each other uncertainly for a moment, he with a flushed
rather silly fixed smile. She was afraid, somehow, to move away.
“Let me rub your arm.” Then with the fury of a man waking up to some
insult, he had seized her. Her tardy words, furious struggling and all
her contradictory emotions disappeared in the whirlpool towards which
they had, with a strange deliberateness and yet aimlessness, been
steering.
He was standing there at the window now as though wishing to pretend that
he had done nothing; she “had been dreaming things” merely. The long
silence and monotony of the posing had prepared her for the strangeness
now. It had been the other extreme out of which she had been flung and
into which, at present, she was again flung. She saw side by side and
unconnected the silent figure drawing her and the other one full of
blindness and violence. Then there were two other figures, one getting
up from the chair, yawning, and the present lazy one at the window—four
in all, that she could not bring together somehow, each in a complete
compartment of time of its own. It would be impossible to make the
present idle figure at the window interest itself in these others. A
loathsome, senseless event, of no meaning, naturally, to that figure
there. It had quietly, indifferently, talked: it had drawn: it had
suddenly flung itself upon her and taken her, and now it was standing
idly there. It could do all these things. It appeared to her in a series
of precipitate states. It resembled in this a switchback, rising slowly,
in a steady insouciant way to the top of an incline, and then plunging
suddenly down the other. Or a mastiff’s head turning indolently for some
seconds and then snapping at a fly, detached again the next moment.
Her fury and animal hostility did not last more than a few minutes.
She had come there, got what she did not expect, and now must go away
again. There was positively nothing more to be said to Kreisler. She had
spasmodic returns of raging. They did not pass her dourly active mind.
There never had been anything to say to him. He was a mad beast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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